FFS
I’ve always been a fan of the unintended double entendre. From my wife declaring “I prefer a nice big purple head”, something to do with flowers apparently, to the overhead down the pub “…so I says to ‘im your mum might ‘ave swallowed it but I’m not swallowing it…”

I don’t fall into such traps, probably due to my superior intelligence or something.

At work I’ve got the keys for the all the doors, internal and external. The theory is if there’s some sort of emergency I‘ll be able to get in. In practice it means I can park in the little underground car park at the back of the building, open the door to a short passage and get the lift from the basement. I’m the only person in the building with the power and authority to take this shortcut.

Last year a manager from another department parked at the same time as me. As he was getting out of his car I looked this man in the eye and said to him “Do you want to come up the back passage.”

His reaction was a hard to read moments glassy eyed silence followed by ‘No thanks’ as he headed off for the three minute walk to the revolving doors at front entrance, which for consistency sake I shall start calling the Flap Hole.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 17 May 2011, 10:57, 3 replies)

It would have been reall funny if he'd got in the lift with you, pressed stop and then bummed you.
I type "funny", I mean, "hilarious".
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:00, closed)

Wouldn’t have happened, he’s just an average bloke, not the head on the IMF.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 17 May 2011, 11:03, closed)

Racist.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 17 May 2011, 11:33, closed)