More corporate wankage
While they were doing the 5S rampage at Honeywell I went through a supply closet and found a coffee cup from some previous corporate campaign back when they were Allied Signal. It's a beautiful dark blue with metallic gold stars on it, and across the top it says STAR: Striving To Achieve Results.

God knows how much money and effort went into that one as well. No one there could remember what STAR was supposed to be about, or why there were coffee mugs made.

Dilbert is not a cartoon, it's a documentary.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 23 Feb 2012, 20:52, 5 replies)

I know...
It was about the same thing that all those sorts of corporate exercises were about. Share prices.

See, if they actually say that they're cost cutting, then they're not doing anything to grow the business, they're just penny pinching to get by. If they are honest about it or try to hide it in the accounts, then the city will see through it and the share price drops.

However, if they hire a bunch of overpaid shysters in suits (otherwise known as "management consultants") to come up with a snappy management-bullshit-speak title and some completely meaningless and pointless process to go behind it, they can scam the city into believing that they are doing something practical and worthwhile for the business which is going to yield long term benefits when in fact all they're going to do is lay a load of people off in a few months time. If the city buys it, and let's face it they usually do (hey, they thought CDOs were a great idea), then the share price is unaffected, the management make themselves look good to the shareholders and there are no calls at AGMs for their tender parts to be grilled and placed between slices of white bread.

My favourite was "Comapny Wide Quality". Then the memo came around stating "Company Wide Quality has been cancelled". Hope the clients/customers didn't see that one!
(An eejit passing by in a purple satin skirt with sparkly bits, Thu 23 Feb 2012, 21:11, closed)

Dilbert is a bit too close to home for where I work too

( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 23 Feb 2012, 23:12, closed)

Me too. I had to leave. And also stop reading Dilbert, it felt like a script.
(Simian Typewriter Supplies Pty. Ltd. is house hunting in the neighborhood of infinity, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 13:49, closed)

I had one of those...
...and I only worked for a subbie for Allied Signal.

We never found out what STAR was either.
(inflateable, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 8:29, closed)

Where
I work it was Stop Think And Review, or as we immediately came to the conclusion Shit That Ain't Right
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 21:20, closed)