Answer Phone
I am currently in the unenviable position of trying to borrow a large sum of money from a high street bank. As such, I need to call my business bank manager quite regularly. The fact that I am given his mobile number is considered a special privilege - I feel greatly honoured. However, when I call him, I never get directly through to him, I only get his answer phone message.

This is the message:

"Hello, this is Darren Twatface (or similar), of [enter high street bank name] Business Bank, on the [enter that specific day's date]. I am currently unavailable, but if you leave a message I will make sure to return your call within 3 working hours. Alternatively..." blah blah

I have NEVER received a call back within 3 working days, let alone 3 working hours.

So, basically, every day he takes the time to record a new answer phone message making a promise to call back within 3 working hours. Every day he fails to do so. EVERY DAY HE LIES.
(InflammableHound may be recorded for training porpoises, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 23:15, 2 replies)

U r doing it rong.
www.b3ta.com/questions/corporateidiocy/post1540605
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 24 Feb 2012, 23:18, closed)

I know it's not as simple as this
but why are you even bothering to try and call him?

He's not doing his job. Either complain about him, or go to another bank.
(username failed moderation, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 11:44, closed)