This is apparently a REAL web usage policy:
I'm paraphrasing, because the original was shown me about 10 years ago, and I can't find it anywhere on the Interwebs. Why will become very quickly obvious.
"Hi guys. Now that we've got the wonder of the world wide web, there's a few dos and don'ts.

Web:
No cocks, tits, arse or fanny. No swearing, including cocks, tits, arse or fanny. You're selling our products, not the contents of your garden shed.

Emails: Love in the subject line means DANGER. Nigerians have no money.

FTP: I have no idea what this is. IT says it's a bad thing. So don't."

Apparently written by a bearded media entrepreneur, noted for starting the career of a man who played a lot of instruments at once.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 18:52, 1 reply)

I'm no fan of the bearded one
but the possibility of this being true makes me want to like him, a little bit.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 13:26, closed)