Near miss
Oh Blackpool... Sin City Seaside of the North.

I was there as part of a party of stags - but bearing in mind that the groom to be was a strict Baptist, this wasn't going to be quite the riotous night one might expect of these thigns. Nevertheless, I'd decided to try and enjoy the eerie combination of strict morals companions and the town that taste forgot.

First off, on arriving at the hotel there were splayed handprints on the wall, dragging in a downward motion. I can all too easily imagine how they got there, and the thought dogs me to this day.

That in mind, we headed out, getting the poor victim drunk, as is expected. Long after the rest of the party had vanished into a seedy strip bar, I was left carrying the incapacitated innocent back along the seafront to our hotel when he stopped to be violently sick outside a bar.

While leaning against said establishment, a terrifying vision lurched her ancient head out of the window bellowing in a Lancashire accent so broad it went from coast to coast "AH'VE GOT TO SNOG A GINGE!!! YOO LOOK LARK A GINGE, C'MERE!"

At which point the filthy harridan of the night sank her talons into the back of my scalp and dragged my protesting head towards her Bacardi Breezer coloured gaping maw. In utter terror, I did the only thing a man can do in such situations...

"But I'm not ginger! (true)... HE is though..."

And lo, with vomit dribbling from his still trembling lips my up until this moment pure and innocent mate ended up in the crosshairs of the aged cockicidal vulture. I have never seen a man go from inebriated to sober in such a short space of time. Or move so quickly.

So not quite an age gap shag - but a very near miss.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 8 Dec 2008, 12:11, 2 replies)

Oi oi Sonic!
You're like me: you're not ginger, but there's enough of a hint there for people to get the wrong idea :)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 8 Dec 2008, 14:53, closed)

I've just 'liked' your response... oops... :D
how goes bloke?

Damn right on the ginger front - especially when the crevice faced harridan is ninety sheets to the wind and desperate for ginge...
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Mon 8 Dec 2008, 17:12, closed)