I don't have a story this week.
_{Any allusions to truth in the following are grossly misrepresented.}

Was but a boy of seventeen,
Still innocent, and still so keen,
The physics that this teacher taught,
The laws revealed, equations wrought,
The scientific method made,
The new altar at which we prayed,
The woman with the deep dark eyes,
With short brown hair and full, firm thighs,
In someone twice as old as me,
An unexpected fantasy,
I told myself this was not right,
...but why I else did I think about physics each night?

Yet one day as the class did go,
She asked, "Do stay a moment, Crow,
She smiled and said "No need to fear,
Why, no one even knows we're here."
I pondered every variable,
If we were caught, there'd be such trouble,
Such thoughts flashed by in but a second,
As her experienced lips a-beckoned,
Common sense could not prevail,
My variable resistance failed.

She climbed on me and made to straddle,
I stroked the contours, found the saddle
point between those buttocks firm,
And probing fingers made her squirm.
In a quantum of uncertainty,
Clothes disappeared quite rapidly.
Her eyes lit up as she disrobed,
My swollen, sweating, young Hall Probe.
I begged, "the pressure is too great,
"I'm going to...supersaturate..."
She smiled, "Well, let's relieve that first,"
Opened her mouth and let me burst,
And swallowed then so artfully,
My column's potential vorticity.

She did not gag, she did not gurn,
But kissed my neck and said "Your turn,"
And begged that I should use on her,
My huge interferometer.

And so I found myself a-rising,
Beyond her moist event horizon,
Trapped inside so tight a hold,
By the pull of this black hole.
She goaded me and cried for more,
As she enticed me to explore,
And find within this no-pants dance,
A frequency of resonance.
Our sinusoidal oscillations,
Hurried on a strong sensation,
Wishing it would not be over,
But soon this mass went supernova,
And with a gasp, she seemed to lift
Up on my violent Doppler shift.

And the woman with the deep dark eyes,
With short brown hair and full, firm thighs,
This psiren, twice as old as me,
My unexpected fantasy,
Just caught her breath in time to say,
"Why can't they make all men this way?"

...Well, how else do you think I got an 'A'?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 10:39, 19 replies)

Excellent
"I begged, "the pressure is too great,
"I'm going to...supersaturate...""
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 9 Dec 2008, 10:46, closed)

This
is fucking excellent.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:04, closed)

Pooflake
Your audience anticipates greatness.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:05, closed)

fantastic
has a kind of Lewis Carroll quality to it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:10, closed)

Thank you all most kindly
This morning I saw fit to try,
Inflicting my woeful poetry.
Alas, this lady does not exist,
Is naught but a product of my foul mind...and busy fist.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:23, closed)

Just
superb.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:25, closed)

This really should win
It's brilliant.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:29, closed)

This is all kinds of fantastic.
And should be made into a song :D
( Cawl, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:30, closed)

Hmm...I may have to pick up the guitar this evening.
_{You have been warned.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:32, closed)

Do it!
*grins*
( Cawl, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:40, closed)

Oh, go on then
Just for you...

_{Shameless myspaz-pimping on OT a la Vipros tomorrow if I don't get dragged to the pub this evening.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:41, closed)

Excellent!
Well, if it happens, I look forward to hearing it :D
( Cawl, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:47, closed)

The line
Moist event horizon did it for me.
(Prawn, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 11:36, closed)

A rare
but enthusiastic click from me this week.

For the win.
( Moey, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 12:01, closed)

Really rather......
....stunning. Most impressive, I've not seen something I liked this much in ages! Well done and thanks!
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Tue 9 Dec 2008, 12:25, closed)

Fantastic
Really really good that *clicks*
(Spangulum nailing your mother since 1824, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 12:36, closed)

What's not to like
Physics? check, moist event horizon ? check.

Me likeee
(Lurkaloid awarded wanking black belt on, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 14:54, closed)

I'm trying to find ways...
To shoehorn "moist event horizon" into my everyday lexicon
(ZoFreX is cleaner than smoked trout, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 16:17, closed)

I think you may find it a little tricky.
Real event horizons are not known for their abundance of moisture. Unless you were discussing, say, light from the edge of a black hole whose emission spectrum contained signatures of water.

But that's a little bit context specific.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 9 Dec 2008, 16:22, closed)