i am an idiot!
I was 24 and a manager in the local night club(it was not a classy joint). I was on the rebound from a 4 year relationship and feeling low. Now this nightclub really did attract the older lady , but on some occasions they did bring there daughters out. So one night i am standing at the end of the bar watching my staff work when i get a pinch on the backside. Fearing it to be a saggy granny i turn around quick and notice she is not half bad.We end up chatting and before you know it we are in bed at it like rabbits in my tiny loft room. This is where things go wrong!. Around 3am there ia a loud bang on the door and the sound of those silly exhausts that chavs stick on there £200 novas. My flat mate gets up and shouts out the window . He gets a reply back that some one in the house is shaggibg his 17yr old girlfriend!!!! Bloody hell i thought our house was going to get stormed by the local chav scum , so in my very embarrassed state i did the most shameful thing i could ........ yes i phoned the police! i actually dialled 999 and said " There are some hooligns outside my house who wont leave". I never know to this day why i did not just go down stairs and tell him and his shellsuit soverign wearing scum mates to do one. The police arrived and moved them on then came and talked to me while i am in my boxers with some young girl about to leave. i was getting some funny looks of the twunts as well. god i am such an embarassment to the male race!
(supertedtex, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:15, 6 replies)

fuck that shit, man!
Those little pack rat scumbags would have beat you senseless and stolen everything you own - you did the right thing calling the pigs - about time those fat tossers did something useful!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:35, closed)

^ what baz said
That is what the police service are there for, after all. You probably did the sensible thing and can therefore live a long and happy life with the continued ownership of your vital organs.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:46, closed)

however you look it at though
you did slip a length to something that a chav has been in before....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:49, closed)

A flange knows no history
Except one with spots, scabs, discharge or bad aids.
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:58, closed)

accurate
and rather gross.

Good choice of words there my good chap. Heartiest of congratulations.
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 11:08, closed)

Ooh, good point, Vipros.
That did actually send a shudder down my spine...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 11 Dec 2008, 10:57, closed)