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... ... ... Thank you for ringing the Bromsgrove District Council. Opening times 12.55pm until 2.05 pm weekdays. Lunch hour 1.00pm until 2.00pm.

We are sorry that we are not in at the moment but please leave a message and we will listen to it wth great interest before either completely ignoring it or taking your view into account and then doing the exact opposite. It is these decisions that have helped to bring the council into the special measures that it is in today.

If you would like to hear Julie Kirkbride talk out of her ass about how she will make this district great please press 1 and we will forward you through to the Bromsgrove Conservative office.

If you wish to complain about our piss poor attempt to sort out the refuse collection and the inconvinient times in which we collect the bins, please press 2

To talk about the huge amount of council tax you pay and the miniscule amount we actually spend on public servives press 3

If you would like to make a donation that will most likely go towards the much deserved, invitation only Christmas party that we hold every year then press 4 but please do not expect to be invited unless your annual household income is over £60,000 a year; we are conservatives and we don't mix with the likes of peasants.

For any other service that you may require from the council press 5 and you will be redirceted to the speaking clock. Well, lets face it, that will give you more information about politics than we ever could.

If you do not require any of these services then please feel free to e-mail us at [email protected] where we will take your e-mail into account before pretending that our network has gone down and we never recieved it.

Thank you for calling Bromsgrove district and please feel free never to call again
(Foulkesy123 The one and only..., Tue 31 Jul 2007, 11:27, Reply)