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This is a question Hotel Splendido

Enzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"

What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?

Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
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Mate's stag do in Blackpool...
Cheap B&B, probably used by men in suits for dubious activites with ladies of the night (at least that's what it looked like from the outside)...

We head in, and divide into two rooms. In the other room, there are six blokes in three bunk beds, myself, the groom and the best man have a proper bed each in our room - result! Briefly.

Their room: stank of stale sweat and cheap deodorant, they found a used condom in the bathroom bin, but otherwise almost passable.

Our room: Seemingly OK, until I noticed the grubby hand marks on the walls. Hand marks above head height. Hand marks that gradually fade out as they slide down the wall.

I can't sleep all night for the image of some ropey old alcoholic slapper, braced against the wall shouting "OOOOO! TAKE ME JOHNNY!" in a broad Lancastrian accent as some sweaty, slightly overweight, greasy haired spick in nothing but a pair of Reebok Classics and a thick gold necklace pumps away for all he's worth, not helped by hearing similar noises from some of the other rooms over the course of the night either.

That place haunts my very worst nightmares.
(, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 11:03, 1 reply)
Did you say "spick"?

(, Mon 21 Jan 2008, 13:32, closed)

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