Kyle Hotel - Kyle Of Lochalsh
I stay in about 10 hotels per year, sometimes more. Everywhere from Ukraine (got fleas)
Midi Pyrenees (town full of dog shit) Amsterdam (gay orgy next door) etc, etc BUT :

We had been in the Outer Hebrides for 2 weeks and the stopover in this hotel, in the "deluxe room with
king size bed with drapes, television with video or DVD player, luxury bathrobes and Jacuzzi with spa or
jet shower" was to be a treat to ourselves for slumming, camping and roughing it for those 2 weeks. We
even dropped off 2 bottles of champagne on the way out to await our return. The pop was there when we
arrived, but so was a coach load of weegies :(


" For a perfect romantic break why not book a deluxe room with king size bed with drapes, television with video or
DVD player, luxury bathrobes and Jacuzzi with spa or jet shower"

Went the blurb. It still does. www.kylehotel.co.uk/bedrooms.html some 2 and a half years later.

What we got (and the fuckers can sue me on this) was a room at the top of the stairs at the junction of 2 corridors
which saw heavy traffic until 4am. In the room, the floor under the carpet was made of heavily buckled hardboard
which creaked and squeaked like fuck. The door to the room was poorly fitted so that the draught which howled
under it made a farting noise (I KID YOU NOT) unless we wedged something up against it. The as the advertised
Sat TV didn't work, the jacuzzi looked rank ... There was a film of matter over everything. The staff were like a
Mongolian version of Manuel.

And the heavily perfumed and aftershaved up weegies didn't stop doing what chav weegies do until gone 4am.
In the morning, they all had their doors open while they were getting ready for breakfast and they were all
'comparing notes' about last nights activities: Drinking pish, and getting humped dry by their fat baw bag husbands.....

So, after no sleep on a uncomfortable bed set on creaky floors, the crap shower in a (possibly) spunk lined
shower cum whirlpool spa bath, we went down for breakfast.

Wall to wall weegies stuffing their maws with everything in sight. We made two attempts to get a seat and failed.
By the time we could get a seat we were told (seriously) that the coach party had eaten all of the breakfasts.

I walked into reception and asked to speak to the manager, the owner turned up. I dialed my card provider and
canceled my credit card there and then, I told them it had been stolen. I dared the cow of an owner to attempt
to charge me for anything. I Dare You.....

"deluxe room" ?

DON'T. KNOW. THE. MEANING. OF. IT.

Length ? I'm sorry it lasted one night ! .... still waiting for my day in court .....
(sham-il-eer-tak-tak noes better but still can't give a fuck at, Fri 18 Jan 2008, 19:54, Reply)