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This is a question Hotel Splendido

Enzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"

What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?

Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.

(, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
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Many years ago, we took a friend of ours on holiday. Just a word of advice - just don't... you'll end up hating each other by the end...

...Anyhew, the idea was to take a tour around Ireland, visiting my relations and showing our 'friend' the real Ireland - (not the fake experience the Americans enjoy). At each stop we booked into a hotel or B&B for a night. We found some excellent places, including the B&B where, if you wanted an egg for breakfast, you went outside to choose your own from the coop. However, it soon became apparent that our choices of establishment were well thought out, researched decisions - Corinna just picked the first place in the phonebook. I particularly enjoyed the hotel in Dublin where the promised swimming pool was a patch of mud outside - the website showed a pool, they just hadn't got around to build it yet. The B&B in Co.Clare was another 'find' - the bedding, curtains and wallpaper matched exactly. If you stared at one point in the room for too long you developed this odd sea-sick sensation as you couldn't tell which way was up. The owner also had a tendency to drink, and swear - alot - while serving breakfast. Not surprisingly the cooked breakfast was burnt to a crisp and tasted awfully like it was fried in Stella.

My absolute favourite had to be the farmhouse B&B in Kerry, where the owner walked out in full view of the breakfast room and shot a horse, because it was lame, aparently. Thankfully my 6 year old daughter wasn't there to see it happen - I had enough problems explaining the whole 'eggs from a chickens bum concept'.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 14:10, 3 replies)
Us Kerry folks can be a bit odd like that.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 14:32, closed)
"I had enough problems explaining the whole 'eggs from a chickens bum concept'."

As parent to a (only just) toddler, this is just the type of thing I'm looking forward to with joy/fear.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 14:49, closed)
I'm from Clare, and I like to drink and swear. A lot. But I fry my breakfast in the local beer "Black Biddy". Up the fucking Banner.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 20:03, closed)

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