Student Digs
in Handsworth, Birmingham. The old Irish biddy that ran the place was OK, but clueless when it came to making breakfast for students.

For a start, she got up at 6 every morning, and that's when she made breakfast: it was kept warm in her Aga until it was student breakfast-time, 3 hours later on a good day. Breakfast would be any one of:

Soggy toast and a rubbery poached egg with a crunchy topping of burnt baked beans.

Fork-proof scrambled eggs and strips of bacon jerky, again with specialté du maison, soggy toast.

Some kind of freakish, wrinkled sausage with mushrooms - 'mush' being the bit to dwell on - & soggy toast.

One glorious day she announced she was off for a few days to the old country (presumably Ireland), and that we'd have to 'make do' with her husband's cooking.

Well, he liked drinking. A lot. Which meant he didn't get up until we did. Which meant brekkies was freshly cooked! Crispy toast! Non-bouncy eggs! Baked beans that could be moved individually instead of en masse! It wasn't all good, the sausages and bacon tasted like they'd been fried in Brylcreem, but a refreshing change nonetheless.

There were 8 students in this place, 2 to a room. I moved out after my room-mate had a psychotic episode. Part of this involved wetting the bed: mine, not his. He denied everything, I looked like a twat.

Happy days!
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 14:47, Reply)