Hotel SplendidoEnzyme writes, "what about awful hotels, B&Bs, or friends' houses where you've had no choice but to stay the night?"
What, the place in Oxford that had the mattresses encased in plastic (crinkly noises all night), the place in Blackpool where the night manager would drum to the music on his ipod on the corridor walls as he did his rounds, or the place in Lancaster where the two single beds(!) collapsed through metal fatigue?
Add your crappy hotel experiences to our list.
(
chthonic, Thu 17 Jan 2008, 16:05)
« Go Back
Slightly shabbyMy story starts, as the majority of awful stories do, with a lack of money. It was due to this lack of money that I was forced to go to what can only be described as the worst guest house in history.
Once I had eventually dragged myself up there, and past the horrible, filth spewing nuclear power station situated opposite, I had to contend with the ridiculous staff. Not only were they completely incompetent, it appeared that they could not go five seconds without throwing punches that landed at least 3 metres away from either nose, chin or bollocks.
I had almost had enough already but one of the guests truly took the biscuit. This old woman (Bearfur or Wolffur... something along those lines, Foxfur perhaps) could not see that she was being simultaneously robbed, and kept intoxicated at the same time with sherry.
The line finally came when a famous Italian actress showed up, proclaiming to be running from an abusive groom. I thought this was fair enough, no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. The real problem stemmed when, not only did my underwear go missing, I was given radioactive fish for dinner.
I left shortly thereafter, and I think its safe to say I shall not be returning. It might not be open anymore, as I left it looked as if the Health Inspectors were coming to close it down. I think the name of it was Guest House Paradiso, avoid it at all costs.
Apologies for length, but the QOTW was just crying out for it be done.
(, Tue 22 Jan 2008, 22:20, 2 replies)
Uh,how did you know the fish was radioactive? Did you have a Geiger-counter handy?
(, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 5:25, closed)
Stu MooYou tit. Look up "Guest House Paradiso" on IMDB.com, and you might get the joke.
On an aside, used to see Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmonson walking round Ventnor on the Isle of WIght when they were filming this, as it was shot somewhere on the west side of the island.
(
Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Wed 23 Jan 2008, 7:30,
closed)
« Go Back