Crazy Relativescurvylittlegoth writes, "My Grandma is crazy, crazy mad. As well as regularly putting curses on us all, she once fell asleep in the armchair on a sunny afternoon, Barley Wine in one hand, Peter Stuyveson in the other, only to wake up several hours later to a Darth Vader sounding fireman. She thought she was in HELL as the smoke and flames billowed round her..."
Are any of your relatives this loopy?
(
chthonic, Thu 5 Jul 2007, 15:59)
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Family OccasionsMa Jugular has nine siblings, only one of whom is normal in any real sense of the word, they all have about 6 kids, all live in Middlesborough.
Family occasions involve:
One argument about who wasn't invited
One argument about who was invited but didn't come
One argument about the quality of the food
Copious booze
Discussion about the age of my uncle's new girlfriend (he's in his 40's, girlfriend's are rarely older than 22).
Reminder/humiliation of said uncle's ex-wife's subsequent lesbianism
Talk of who's due in court, what for and how much time they're going to get.
Discussion of who's going to get a smack for grassing up person above or who actually did it, usually the bloke next door!
Random pregnant cousin gets drunk
Everyone else gets drunk
Whoops up side your head
Maudlin discussion of dead relative
Heated discussion about who's fault it was that dead relative is dead (this was a particularly fun discussion at my nan's funeral who died after getting pissed at her sisters funeral and falling down the stairs, breaking her neck)
Punch up between at least two siblings
Huge punch up as other siblings try to break up original fight
Someone gatecrashes party
Gatecrasher gets punched
Emergency services arrive, gatecrasher gets blame.
Emergency services join in the fun
I go home to Liverpool and vow never to go up there again.
Got a cousin's child's christening next week
*gulps*
(, Fri 6 Jul 2007, 9:04, Reply)
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