She "forgot"
My mother, bless her, is a trooper, shes not had it easy with her father dying when she was tiny her mother being incredibly ill all of my mothers life (shes a full chapter of crazy relatives herself which i shall get onto) and usually picking the wrong guy, including my father though the fella shes with now is a slice of fried gold, anyways this is about my mother the vegetarian.

Now shes an open minded veggie and didnt moan once when i said id prefer to eat meat and had no problem in cooking it for me (at the time this took place i was only about 11 maybe 12) but would never consider eating it herself, so there we are in the kitchen im doing whatever 11/12 year olds did at the beginning of the 90's and mother dearest is cooking me sunday dinner doing a small roast for me and gets it on her hands, without even a split second hesitation she brings her hand up to her mouth and eats a huge chunk of beef so when i asked what she was doing as she was vegetarian she replied with.................

"Oh yeah I forgot!"

On a side note Im now vegetarian and my girlfriends a militant one so god help me if i ever "forget"

My Gran (mothers mother) was a star until she sadly passed away in 2002 leading me to have my own nervous breakdown as she pretty much brought me up while my mother went out to work to provide for me and she was like a second mother to me (which i suppose grans are)she had heart condition, bad skin the works but refused to give up smoking and drinking even when she gained jaundice which i unfortunatley hadnt seen her for a few weeks and when i saw her with yellowed skin i thought it was a very bad sun tan and asked her where shed been on holiday to which she replied ward B10 cue me going red not yellow, all we needed was my grandfather to start getting jealous then we'd have had a full set of traffic lights in the kitchen.
Anyways as time went one she started getting a bit scatty to which i used for my own amusement.

It started with me moving her fridge magnets around that where always in a set position which progressed onto moving ornaments to see how long it would take for her to notice which in turn moved on to me taking stuff from her mantelpiece and putting it on ours so when she visited shes say she liked the object and that she had one at home but hadnt seen it for a while until it dawned on her due to my mother laughing and cue lots of swearing towards me which then moved onto me taking stuff from my house and leaving it there to see how long it would take then the final one which my mother was involved in was this.......

Furniture. Mother and I went for a visit and while we where there mom kept Gran talking in the kitchen while i proceeded to move the entire living room around, sofa, chairs, tv, sideboard the lot, after an hour Gran walks in to see her living room the exact opposite as to what it was when she last saw it, did she notice?...............did she bollocks she asked if i was okay on my own and why i looked so tired (i think moving over three tons of furniture on my own might have something to do with that).

Still she had the last laugh when it was her funeral, it had been raining heavily and I was leaning on the door to the hearse expecting to get out the other side but instead the driver opened the door with me leaning on it leaving me to fall out backwards into a bloody great puddle and having to sit through the service freezing cold and wet through.

Gran I salute you I couldnt have planned it better myself.
(Official Sarc, Wed 11 Jul 2007, 13:07, Reply)