This has been going on for quite a while now, hasn’t it…?

We had a new carpet fitted in our drawing room* this week.

Before we bought said carpet, the present Mrs Pooflake and I discussed our options as to where to begin our search; i.e should we help a smaller local business, or possibly save ourselves a bit of cash and go to a mahoossive faceless corporation.

TPMPF said: “Oooh, daaahling”** ,then continued in a reminiscing style: “We should go to that little ‘Stockroom’ place, in the backstreets, owned by the sweet old man who remembers our names. We always used to go for our furniture and carpets when we were struggling – that would be nice”

“Hmm” I said, but agreed. As we climbed into the car I mentioned: “I wonder how the old place is coping in the current recession?”

I got my answer as we pulled into the car park.

The place was completely derelict. Every window smashed, little fires had long been started and extinguished and the whole building was covered in overgrown moss.

It must have been abandoned for five years at least. The sweet old man is probably dead…death by extreme poverty and the broken heart of his life’s work collapsing before his very eyes.

I pondered for a moment about the lives that are affected by this global economic crisis…

…then promptly fucked off to the cheap carpet megastore round the corner and blagged a lovely £1200 carpet for £150 in their closing down sale***! Woo!

So it’s not all doom and gloom...


*I know it’s a fucking ‘lounge’ – please grant me one indiscretion of pretending to be posh every now and again.

**She didn’t really, she bellowed “Oi! – UGLY McCUNTYCOCK!”, but that sucks a bit of the romance out of the situation.

***Fitting cost me an extra £65 – for 30 minutes' cunting easy work! - money grabbing total wankbats. However, I rose above it and still tipped them another £20….and not just because it made me feel superior…although it did…a bit.

( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:07, 9 replies)

Tipped them £20 you say...
... is that where your wonky twenty note went?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:48, closed)

HA!...

I wish I'd thought of that!

There were three blokes, so I thought 'any less than £20 and it wouldn't be worth anybody's while to tip'.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 9:52, closed)

£1200 worth of carpet
for £150 and you begrudge them an extra £60 to fit it? (which is only twenty quid a person)

I'm sorry Mr Flake, but your friends may well be correct with their allegations :)
( Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:02, closed)

Don't be sorry - its true...!

I am arse-clenchingly tight...

but still...'only' £20 per person...for 30 minutes' work? £40 an hour? that's not too shabby!

I don't know the average wage in Geordieland, but I wouldn't mind £40 an hour just to crawl around on the floor on my hands and knees and bang for a few minutes...

oh, hang on.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:06, closed)

Arf

( Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:09, closed)

Hmm
Plus the time it took to load the van, drive over and drive back. And petrol money. Minus VAT, tax, and admin costs. They probably earned half that.

All typed with cat lying across my chest and arms. God that was difficult!
(cherrynicola, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:15, closed)

Fair enough...hence the tip...

Just one thing...'Admin costs?'

What admin costs are required to nail a bit of carpet to a floor?

Yes, they may have at some point had to have my name, address, and the amount to charge...but that's gotta be pretty much it.

And 'half that' is still £20 an hour, which isn't too bad considering.

ooh, actually, I've just remembered, they threw in some carpet grippers in too F.O.C, so I take back all I said about them - they rock!
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:20, closed)

When I got mine fitted
I paid for the living room & bedroom, but ended up with the hall and the inside of 3 cupboards all carpeted and beautifully fitted (lots of leftovers of a conveniently correct size)- free of charge.

Carpet Fitting guys do indeed rock!
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 10:58, closed)

Carpets???
In Coventry??? You posh fucker!!! We were lucky to have a bit of straw thrown down over the sandy gravel in our hovel...
( SpankyHanky, Thu 29 Jan 2009, 11:21, closed)