Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow...
UK b3tans especially should be familiar with the drug Mephedrone which the tabloid press decided was the latest terrifying thing that would destroy the country. There hadn't been a new GTA game out for a while, so they needed something to frighten the older generation.

I did it a few times and it was alright but the day after was rather unpleasant and it was incredibly addictive. I'm glad that I'm disinclined towards non-ganja drugs unlike certain people in my group of friends who wound up doing it 24/7 for a month or two. Anyway, our story begins the morning after a Mephedrone binge.

My friend Bill and I had been doing it with another friend until about 8am (yeah you don't sleep when you're on it) and after forcing down a chocolate bar (yeah you don't eat when you're on it) for nutrition we didn't want but knew we needed, we got some weed and decided to smoke the day away with a view to a 14 hour kip that night.

Grass secured, we proceeded to the local park and had a few spliffs of high grade skunk. This is something we do pretty regularly so I wasn't prepared for coughing my lungs up after one toke and tasting mephedrone in the back of my throat. Odd, but OK.

We were waiting for our mate Martin and as the sun set the darkness descended on the park and I squinted into the distance trying to see if that movement in the trees was Martin. Could swear those are legs moving WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

You know how you get black spots on your eyes when they go out of focus or you get lightheaded? I had that but in my drugged-up state they took on the form of big humanoid figures made of black circles running towards me rapidly with the accompanying sound of Pac-Man eating pills for some reason. I shat a bit and continued as normal, mentioning it to Bill and getting a weird look. Whatever, I'm high.

Over the next twenty minutes I saw an army of men in hi-vis vests in the trees with warplanes and helicopters flying overhead and parachuting down reinforcements. A few gigantic spiders squatted on the fence next to me and things moved in the trees constantly. Unbeknownst to me, the whole while Bill was experiencing the same thing and thinking "fuck me I hope Matt is seeing all this" while I was thinking "fuck me I hope Bill is seeing all this".

We walked to the shops down a path in the park which DID NOT END. I swear to God, this 300m walk lasted an eternity. Even though I could see the gate and the main road at the end of the walk it just wasn't getting closer. All the while these half-seen things were moving in the trees as more figures flitted around us on the ground. I began to ask hysterical questions about where were we going, why were we going there, what the fuck is going on. This annoyed Bill though he later confessed he was only annoyed at the questions because in his head he was screaming "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!"

Bill, more versed in drugs than I, was probably handling it a bit better even though I was still in my right mind enough to know I was just hallucinating for some reason due to a cocktail of THC and Mephedrone. Still, it was fucking creepy.

I finally established that Bill was as weirded out as I was when I asked "so, when you did acid, how was that in comparison to whatever the fuck is going on now?" He turned to me and thought before answering hestitantly an octave higher than normal: "Neeeeever.... never had anything quite like this."

We reached the shops and got stuff in the end. I'll save what happened at the shops for a future "Drugged-up twats try and fail to act normal in public" QOTW.

EDIT: forgot this - MASSIVE DRUGS
(MJPerry was crude but clickable at, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 18:39, Reply)