Operation time
Beejay's post just prodded this memory out of me:

I was in a hospital ward, recovering from an operation to have my nose re-set after it was broken by my dog.

I'm not good with strong narcotics. Like general anaesthetic.

So, I'm groggily working out where I am, who I am etc. In the bed next to me is a young man with his girlfriend. She's pleasant-looking, and she looks concerned about her boyf's health.

Nothing much is happening, so I make some small talk. "What are you here for?" I ask nicely. "Broken leg" he says, resignedly.

Oh, ok.

"And when are you due?" I ask the girl.

The silence following felt eternal.

"I'm. Not. I'm. Just. Fat."

Ouch.

I told you I wasn't good with strong narcotics.
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 8:42, 2 replies)

Woah there! Back up a bit...
Your dog broke your nose??
(brainwrong, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 8:44, closed)

Sure did.
He's an American staffy cross cattle dog, so he's got that big solid staffy head.

Took him out for a last walkie and wee for the night, and went to give him a pat at one stage. Bent down over him, (ooh, that doesn't sound right), just as he thought he'd jump up to say hi. He was a pup at the time, and quite exuberant.

SMASH.

I knew it was broken as soon as it happened, there was a cracking, smashing sound on impact.

The doctor in the emergency room laughed, which is exactly what I needed at 2:30am after waiting for 3 hours in the waiting room with a bag of frozen peas (rapidly thawing) on my shnoz.

Almost worth a post of its own.
(David CopAFeel Used to be The_Elcat - Spouting crap since 1970., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 20:38, closed)