clubbing
Back in my hedonistic days I used to frequent the glorious sweat pit that was the Lost Weekend in Nottingham.

One particular night I'd eaten a few too many magic biscuits, and felt an overwhelming urge to sick coming along, and was wondering around trying to find the toilet. I barged past a few people milling around the corridor that led to the toilet, and tried to turn down it but I immediately ran into someone.

You know how it is when you bash into someone - you move left, they move left, you move right, they move right. Embarrasing. This went on for far too long, and I could feel the urge to puke becoming stronger, so I tried to make light of it:

"Listen mate, I'm desperate, let me past"

He smiled back at me but when I advanced, he still went the same way.

"Mate seriously..."

But he just seemed to be grinning inanely back at me. What the fuck was wrong with him? He seemed to be leering at me in a really weird way, so I tried to make smalltalk, but couldn't get any sense out of him at all.

"Oh for fucks sakes!", I muttered and ploughed right through him - except I didn't - I walked straight into my own reflection in a mirror which I'd just had a five minute conversation with, knocked my head, and fell on the floor. At which point I was sick.

Drugs are bad.
( rofl harris, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 13:58, 5 replies)

^agrees
This is hilarious though.
( girlinthehole, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:00, closed)

^^ mmmmkay ^^
You muppet ;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:05, closed)

Just before the "Oh for fucks sakes" bit
a distant memory popped into my head and I knew immediately what was coming next.

You'd think you'd recognise yourself, but apparently not. Apparently you just try to barge straight past yourself, with painful and embarrassing consequences.

Drugs really are bad.
( Moey, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 14:40, closed)

noooooooo
drugs are great, down with mirrors.
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 1:04, closed)

I think we have a winner!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 7:43, closed)