Better out than in?
Some will tell you this, and in certain cases it's true, I'm sure.

However, when your entire school is gathered in the hall being entertained by an explorer gent, this isn't necessarily the case.

And a school friend once discovered this, much to his dismay.

He'd needed to fart before the presentation had begun, but it wouldn't pass during the pre-speech applause.

So he held it.

It strained against his inner cheeks; like champagne against a cork, the pressure was immense and he had to squeeze with all his might to restrain it.

But he held it.

The pressure refused to pass as might be expected. Indeed, he could feel it building and intensifying as the speaker droned on and on about his marvellous adventure that he was so very excited about.

And still he held it.

But his defences must have weakened. His resolve remained, but a chink was to be found in his armour and the slightest gap appeared between his cheeks.

And so it was, that despite all his best efforts he unleashed a high pitched, 15 second long squeak, which sounded loudly off his plastic chair and reverberated crudely about the high ceiling of the hall.

His chair refused to swallow him as the whole school was left in no doubt as to the culprit, due largely to the bright red face that was trying desperately to disappear into the shoulders beneath it.

300+ people laughing at you like special children, until tears flowed freely over their gurning faces, will make you cringe like nothing else.
( Moey, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:17, 4 replies)

Hmmm, "school friend"?
It was you, wasn't it.
(osmouk, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:37, closed)

I'm pleased to say no.
No it wasn't.

If proof be need be; I've already posted about pissing myself in primary school, which is much, much worse.
( Moey, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 15:44, closed)

What a marvellous phrase...
"..laughing at you like special children."
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 16:12, closed)

clicks
I had to click this as I just couldn't stop myself giggling as I read it. I can soooo see this happening to me.
(Spangulum nailing your mother since 1824, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:54, closed)