the nightmare before christmas
twas a fine winters night in the borough of reading, just before christmas.
me and some friends had decided a night out was in question. unfortunately, the only suitable venue also had a drinks promotion- double vodka and coke for £2.
i have something of a history with cheap vodka.

somehow it came to pass that i had topped off a mid-sized bottle of jack with many several of said doubles, and was fuckin STEAMING.

i woke up on my bed, lights on, door open, bollock naked except for my socks and a studded belt.

realising that i had a mighty need, i shambled past the sleeping inebriates in the loungew, through the kitchen to the toilet.
here i found a neat pile in front of the loo, of my clothes.
ALL my clothes
including, along with a pair of scissors, my converse chuck t's with the laces cut into little segments.


this meant i had gone from the toilet, through the kitchen, lounge complete with 3-4 dudes 2 of who i barely knew, and to bed wearing socks and a belt.

not only this, but i'd apparently been in my local chicken shop, screaming with laughter lying on the floor banging on the glass counter front, and had to be carried out.
i also got home and swept everything off the mantlepiece onto the floor, then started a fight with the christmas tree resulting in a severe de-baubling and snapped trunk.

none of this was retained in my brain.
alas the chicken shop owner recalls very well, and rags on me about it every time i come in.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 22:37, 3 replies)

i love the idea
of a severe de-baubling.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 22:43, closed)

hehe!
I do the clothes in a pile thing too.
when my best mate moved up to london from our post uni digs, I threw a HUGE party/send off type of affair. Drinks, smokes, little fellas etc.
(great party 6am finish, I wandered around the house making sure we were 'secure' and chuckled to my self, "Im the last man standing, again!"

Woke up by being kicked by my best mate who said...
"WTF are you doing in my bed?"
Giggles.
I'd gone to bed, fallen asleep, woken up, left jeans and socks at bottom of the stairs, trekked upstairs into his room and gone to sleep top/tailing..

*he still takes the piss :)
(orangejuicejohns, Sat 29 Nov 2008, 8:44, closed)

"Oh yeah, you ^%*(*£^((! tree with your "&)(")"&&)$&)"&" needles and ^*^")£^)!^)^!@@ angel on the top, I'll have you !)&!¬!@@)!(!*&!&!!!!!!"
(Mmmmminty all the beatles are aliens except for George, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 21:34, closed)