Sometimes topless isn't the best
My mate D had taken one of his more serious ladyfriends, R, over to meet and stay with his dads family. During their stay, it was the usual family stuff, meals out, few trips to the pub, but on the last day, Sunday, a special final lunch was planned.

The meal seemed to be going off with a hitch, D's dad, step mum and step sister were chatting away with R, everyone was getting on famously and enjoying the food. There was a minor lull in the conversation, maybe one subject had been talked to death, who knows. R in her infinite wisdom took this opportunity to open her top and reveal her tits. That's right, in the middle of a normal family sunday lunch, she got her norks out on full view, and as a kicker, continued to eat unabated.

Various looks were exchanged, some shocked, some bemused, some amused, and still she didn't put herself away. And then, after some period of silence, she did her top back up and continued as if nothing had happened.

After the meal, R was excused from cleaning up duties and retired to her room, leaving D to try some sort of explaining. Try as he might he had no idea how to explain why she'd done it, and so retired himself to join her.

"I thought it'd be funny" (I always imagine that line in a stereotypical essex model voice) was the only reasoning he could muster from her.

Now, so far, so cringeworthy, the following morning, eye contact was already proving hard between D and his family, but just before departing, he received the final cringe inducing blow from his dad, when he took him aside, smiled, and simply said "Nice tits".
(ShiftyBastard won the World Cup on World Soccer Champs 2010!, Sun 30 Nov 2008, 20:49, Reply)