This happened just now
Like, literally 5 minutes ago. I have still not stopped cringing, and yet, I will post it here for your amusement. Or more likely complete disgust.

So, I went to the bog to drop some kids off at the pool, kids were dropped off successfully, I turn towards the toilet roll dispenser and...no bloody bog roll.

FUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

What to do? My eye was drawn to the waste paper basket, in which there was a load of scrunched up bog roll. Heaven be praised, I was SAVED! There was only one thing for it. I pulled the paper out of the bin, whereupon I discovered that it was all glued together. Ewwww! But of course, beggars can't be choosers.

And that is how I had no choice but to wipe my arse with my housemate's discarded spunky toilet paper.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 8:52, 13 replies)

Ewww!!
Ewwww, ewww, ewwwwwwww!

*click*

Ewwwww....

(It'd be even better if you told him!)
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:08, closed)

Certain Japanese websites
are the place for stuff like this.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:23, closed)

You can technically "catch the gay"
from doing that. I'm pretty sure that wiping someone else's happy-syrup on you poo-pipe means that you now like Strictly Come Dancing, musical theatre and rimjobs.
(brainwrong, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:49, closed)

Hope you don't
become (edit: wo)man-pregnant.

Explaining how your housemate is the father would cause even more cringes, I'm sure.
(LLamaBoy skived off work on, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 9:53, closed)

*winces & clicks*
Ouches...

A good reason why people should always keep standby literature in their lavatories. If the worst comes to the worst, the pages can be used in an emergency.

Jeffrey Archer novels are published solely for this purpose.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 1 Dec 2008, 11:36, closed)

ewwww
*boaks*

but you still get a click
(hutchers, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 12:26, closed)

I
sincerely hope you don't get killed today (or any day, really). The autopsy report would raise more questions in your next-of-kin's mind than could ever be explained.
(Rsoles, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:13, closed)

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
nononononononononononononononononononononononono!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 1 Dec 2008, 13:34, closed)

**********
*wimpers softly*
(LongTomBadTom Does Makes Says Thinks, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 15:53, closed)

I just hope
you wiped front-to-back.

Reminds me of the time I had no bogroll, rummaged through a bin, found a used tampon wrapped with toilet-paper, unwrapped the toilet-paper and used that. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 20:56, closed)

Been there, done that...
Got the antibiotics.

*click*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Dec 2008, 22:07, closed)

I would like to clarify...
that I am a girl. So I will not be catching teh gay. In fact, I think I should get a bonus click for being a girl who admits to stuff like this.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Tue 2 Dec 2008, 7:56, closed)

No one should admit to stuff like this...
except to b3ta.

*click*
(annexed, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 12:40, closed)