Fore
1.

After a heavy night on the turps 'n' biccies, I went straight to the golf course (posh one, me not a member there) for a little game with some non booze/drug addled mates. On the second hole I tee'd off (it was probably the best shot of my day) and felt the need for a fart. Sadly, it was a very moist fart; I had in fact shat myself quite completely.

My playing partners had the delight of watching me drop the strides, lose the dung hampers and proceed to clean myself up with the aide of the ball washer and my little ball washer towel.

2.

I had a home stay with a sweet little old lady whilst traveling through Siberia in 2003 (I was 35). I had a dream in bed the last night, which evidently involved me satisfying all of the local girls/ladies plus some domesticated animals (probably). I awoke to find that I had spoofed up an extraordinary amount all over me and more importantly the bed clothes; both barrels at the very least. Crusty, dried up spoof smells wrong. Fortunatly my Russian does not extend to "You Dirty Old Man". Cheers Babooshka.

Happy days lad.

Long time reader first time poster. Never mind the length feel the spoofage
(Teamspunk Is putting the spunk in steampunk, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 2:02, 2 replies)

Excellent
Let's face it, anything involving a "ball-washer" has to be hilarious somewhere down the line, you simply cannot miss, but your story was particularly amusing. A+
(Rsoles, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 10:47, closed)

Eww.
I just hope you gave the ball washer a big tip.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 3 Dec 2008, 16:31, closed)