Not so much making me cringe...
...as making me want to destroy my TV is the scourge of the soul that is xmas TV advertisements. In particular:

M&S - Take-That-minus-Williams-so-not-really-Take-That-and-it's-not-as-if-the-original-troupe-of-preening-cunts-were-even-moderately-good-anyway pretending to have cheesy god-fearing family fun at a pretend xmas party with a bunch of nauseatingly pouty bints including the one who seemingly ponces about in a bikini/bra 'n' pants EVEN IN FUCKING WINTER. Oh, and the usual superfluous token appearance from Twiggy. I mean, Twiggy - why?

ICELAND - Kerry motherfucking Katona teams up with some other z-list bint whose name I don't know and haven't bothered to find out and if that weren't enough, they're joined by everyone's favourite twat-of-the-aussie-persuasion Jason Donovan sporting enough anti-aging gunk to double his weight where the three of them coo musical-style over a dizzying variety of cheap-arse and slightly minging-looking party snackery which no-one else at the pretend-gathering seems inclined to even go near.

Both are boycotted for xmas shopping on account of pouring this shite into our heads, though to be honest I never shop at Iceland because a) Kerry motherfucking Katona and b) it's as pikey as fuck, possibly on account of endorsement by Kerry motherfucking Katona.

Xmas wank, and not in a good way. Don't even get me started on perfume adverts.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 10:48, 9 replies)

The remote control is your friend
even muting those adverts is a blessing
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:11, closed)

I agree with this
but there is one point I'd like to make:

the black one from the M&S advert is a smokin' hottie.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:28, closed)

She really is.
And it's no bad thing that she appears in her smalls in every single advert.
( Moey, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:42, closed)

That woman...
... is only the wife of Claude Makelele, former Chelsea player and holder of the nickname "The Tripod". Legend! He's only 5'6"!
(Goldbringer last attempted regicide on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:01, closed)

Kerry 'pikey chavette bint' katona
I would never entertain shopping anywhere endorsed by the chavette scum bint Kerry Katona.....she is such a vile hateful little tramp. Those fucking Iceland adverts make me want to nail red hot spikes into my eyes and ears to dull the pain they inflict on my senses.

And another thing, why do fucking furniture stores advertise sofas with some god awful christmas tune over the top in fucking September...I mean September for fucks sake...IT'S NOT BASTARD CHRISTMAS IN SEPTEMBER!!!!
(iwantmybed Is counting down the hours till home time on, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:40, closed)

Worse than that...
...were the sofa ones with that fucking Nickelback song in them. That song, like many of thiers earned my scorn quickly because of Nickelback's apparent 'We'll sell our shit to anyone who waves a fiver under our noses and have every chart-worthy song we produce played to death and beyond until everyone in the bastard world wants to stove our heads in' policy of distribution.

Whilst they have a flair for producing a catchy song or two, closer inspection of said tune-ery reveals that they're aimed squarely at the large and doubtlessly lucrative 'fucking retard' end of the music-buying market, similarly plumbed for cash on a regular basis by the likes of 50 Cent, Bratney, McFly, Saturdays, Katy Perry, the X Factor finalists and many, many others whom besides profitability have no place in the music industry.

Nickelback know thier audience too - for example, in the video for that song about going back to thier hometown where the first line is 'Look at this photograph', and poodle-boy is holding a framed photo up to the camera. Well thanks for that, I'd never have made the fucking connection otherwise. Pillock.

I have a lot of bile to exorcise. Can you tell?
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:29, closed)

That song
does make me want to stick pins in my eyes, so that the sound of my own screaming would drown out the absolute horror being inflicted upon my brain.

Or, you know, I just change the channel, or something.
( Moey, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:42, closed)

I just don't understand
...it's got to the point where they just shoehorn em in for a few frames. In a different one, Richard Hammond rides a sled into a shop. He spots Nick Hancock at the deli counter. Nothing happens, he just looks at him. Then chums up with Denise Van Outen. Or you've got Jamie Oliver bumping into Ant n Dec. It's wrecking my head to be honest - are we ment to be so in awe of these simpering prats that a mere glimpse of them shopping will inspire us to similar deeds!?!? bah
(bacontrout got ska, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 11:53, closed)

perfume ads
I'm totally with you on that one, in fact I'd like a go at them myself. I reckon a good hour in a room with some quality weed and you could knock out at least half a dozen passable examples of the complete cocktwaddle that passes for perfume ads.

Any ad execs out there wanna take me up on this?
(KipperMinge has been watching out for the penguins since, Thu 4 Dec 2008, 12:40, closed)