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This is a question Cunning Plans

I once devised a totally foolproof cunning plan to attract the attention of bikini-clad women, which - as you might imagine - failed miserably. Ever come up with a cunning plan for something? Did it work? What went wrong? Do you look back through the filter of the years with a burning sense of shame?

Suggested by Ring of Fire

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 11:57)
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serious backfire
i once had a cunning plan to seduce a bloke i rather fancied. it was party time at my parents' house and i knew this bloke had been invited. during the night, i had nabbed an empty lemonade bottle and poured into it bits of alcohol from various bottles and topped it up with cola.
here comes the cunning part.
he was a smoker and he didn't know the area so, while he wasn't looking, i hid his fags. noticing they were gone and knowing the shops were shut, he asked if anyone knew somewhere he could buy smokes. i volunteered to go with him to the nearest garage and took my bottle of "cocktail mix" with me.
i made sure i took him to a garage a mile away, giving us plenty of time to drink my little potion. we walked, we talked, we bought fags. we also sat off on the field on the way back for a smoke and to drink more.
sitting in the moonlight, my head suddenly started to spin. i looked over at blokey and he smiled at me. i smiled back, albeit somewhat greenly.
he leant in for a kiss. i puked on his shirt.
needless to say, he was a bit miffed and i never got a snog.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 17:23, 6 replies)

A few years ago at 6am, I romantically fell on top of Mrs Vagabond, telling her "I's jus drunk borrel've Tesco Value Whisky wiv yor bruvver. I love you, g'night." and proceeded to fall asleep and dribble all over her arm.

After that, the lady was mine for the taking.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:09, closed)
you old smoothie!
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 18:14, closed)
A real man would still have had a go.
Clearly a gay. Unless you're even uglier than people say.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:10, closed)
story of my life

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 19:53, closed)
That's not very nice.
(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 20:36, closed)
You stay classy Smash.

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 20:47, closed)
always :D

(, Thu 5 Jul 2012, 20:52, closed)

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