Apologies for outing your daughter...
I worked temporarily as a customer service representative (Phone-monkey) at a certain TV, Cable TV and Internet service provider that was eventually taken over by a company famous for pulling out of b3ta competitions.

The best call I ever got was from a muslim gentleman regarding his cable TV subscription.

He was enquiring why his bill had all of a sudden jumped from £280.00 per month to £420 per month.

Fucking insane, I know but I looked into the reason behind his bills and noted the following: -

Someone had been ordering at least three pay-per-view porn films per night. Most of these were of lesbian interest and as the bill payer and account holder he was well within his right to obtain this information.

The best part was sitting there reading through the list of titles that had been ordered. At every point in telephone calls I remain calm and composed, if someone starts screaming and shouting, I remain calm, no-one could have prepared me for what was about to happen. The guy fucking flipped, he was screaming blue murder in his native language and would not stop, he had paid them almost four grand and almost all of this was for pornography. He was incensed.

I politely explained that if he so desires, we could disable pay-per-view to prevent this in future and this is where he dropped the ultimate bombshell.

He just paid the bill. The actual television was installed in his daughters flat in leicester which she shared with a female housemate.. oooh thought I... not good!

He hung the phone up and I thought that was it.

A few days later I was dealing with written correspondence and lo and motherfucking behold what did I see...

A letter from a rather incensed woman about disclosing what she was watching to her father and revealing her alternative lifestyle.

I went to the account and decided to respond personally, saying in the third person that I had done exactly was required of me, explained that as I was discussing the account with the named party I was more than at liberty to disclose the titles of ordered films.

Good times!
( Muns, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 1:37, 5 replies)

god bless
enn tee ell.

They were incredibly clueless, and now they've taken over tell ee west the cluelessness has been transferred to senior management. I know. I have to deal with them.
(Dr Teeth Who asked you, you fuckin' hobbit?, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 2:17, closed)

I know that girl
Her name is Min-gita!

(Say it out loud, you know you want to!)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 10:16, closed)

golddust
nobody (seriosuly, nobody in the ENTIRE world), needs that 'joke' explaining to them.
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 11:06, closed)

Those of us who don't have a British accent do.
I had to read it in Big-Girls-Blouse's voice to get it right.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 5 Sep 2008, 17:07, closed)

mmm
lesbians
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 13:34, closed)