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This is a question Customers from Hell

The customer is always right. And yet, as 'listentomyopinion' writes, this is utter bollocks.

Tell us of the customers who were wrong, wrong, wrong but you still had to smile at (if only to take their money.)

(, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:42)
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An epic multi-post
Customer #1:

"Does your laptop get hot when it comes up with this error?"

"Erm, I have my mobile phone next to it, if thats what you mean?"

Customer #2:

"I heard IT are rolling out some new software after testing, so I've beaten them to it and installed it myself, but it doesn't work"

Customer #3:

A customer called up on a mobile (as a lot do due to only having a single phone line)

Customer: "Hi, I can't connect to the internet through Dial Up." (At least they actually know what they are using, right?)

Me: "Ok, lets just check a few settings quickly"
(procedes to check Dial Up networking, etc...)
"Ok, can you reboot your machine now please?"

* Due to "point and peck" ability and the fact that nothing I tried actually changed the situation, and Windows throwing up several seemingly random errors, it takes me 30 mins to get to this point and during the 'Wait for Windows' pause: *

Customer: "Whats the weather like there?"

Me: "A bit overcast, not too bad though."

Customer: "Thats good, its pouring down here, the telegraph pole at the end of the road was struck by lightning last night, I've not been able to connect since."

Me: "..."

Customer #4:

Customer: "Hi, I'm having trouble with my emails. I can send but can't receive."

Me: "Ok, what is your username?"

Customer: "*****, also, my desktop isn't working. Have you any problems at your end?"

Me: "No we aren't experiencing any problems here, when you say desktop, what do you mean?"

Customer: "Well, my emails aren't working, and I have a blue screen. Its been like this for 10 minutes."

Me: "Ok. A blue screen with text on it?"

Customer: "No, its just a blue screen."

Me: "Do you not have any icons or start button?"

Customer: "No, All I have is a blue backdrop. Is this what is stopping my emails at your end?"

Me: "It sounds like a problem with your computer, have you rebooted it to see if that helps?"

Customer: "Yes, I have rebooted it a few times and I assumed it was because I couldn't get my emails."

Me: "I think you'll need to look at your PC and get it working correctly before I can help you, as without a Start button or any desktop icons I can't check any email settings with you."

Customer: "Oh, so I need to sort out my emails here first?"

Me: "No..."

Customer #5:

I was once an employee at a large DIY store chain in the UK as a till jockey/general dogsbody. I had one customer ask me to scan a lawnmower's barcode to check the price was the same as on the shelf (they are drawn from the same system, so not likely to get a mismatch) it came up as £149.99.

He told me that it was too expensive, even though it matched the price tag on the shelf (!?!) and asked me to remove it from his transaction.

I proceeded to remove the item and scan a few other items. The amount came to £3.49. He paid me £3.50 and of course, got a penny change.

As he was walking away, he looked at his receipt and then stormed back over to me while I was serving the next customer, barged them out the way, then started shouting.

"You've charged me for that lawnmower! Remove it immediately!" I then proceeded to inform him that if I had charged him, the total would have been £153.48, not £3.49.

He then said: "Bring me your manager, I am not happy!"

It took my manager 10 minutes to explain this while I served the following queue of equally bemused customers.
(, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 9:30, Reply)

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