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This is a question Customers from Hell

The customer is always right. And yet, as 'listentomyopinion' writes, this is utter bollocks.

Tell us of the customers who were wrong, wrong, wrong but you still had to smile at (if only to take their money.)

(, Thu 4 Sep 2008, 16:42)
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"YES I 'AVE FUCKIN' SHIT MY SELF"
It's not often I'll post here but I'm enjoying this QOTW so I'll share my experience of working at the ever so classy establishment known as 'The Goose' in Nottingham.

As many who have lived in Nottingham and had The Goose would know that 'A': it's a shit hole and 'B': it attracts tramps, nutters and every alcoholic thick old smelly bastard Nottingham has to offer. Was a great day when I finally left there.

However one busy Saturday night, after taking shit loads of abuse of these sad old fuckers 11:00pm finally came around. A female colleague had asked a white trashy tattooed chav woman to kindly finish her drink and leave as we were closed. As many of you are aware most filthy chav retards aren't exactly known for being rational (let alone drunken chavs).

Because of my colleagues request "could you finish your drink please as we're closed", said chav woman kicked off and erupted in the biggest rage fit I had ever seen.

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT..." etc
(i'm sure you know what an angry person sounds like).

This then caused the female bouncer to step into action (who like us just had enough of these fuck wits that night), the woman was not reasonable so I'm guessing the bouncer saw little use in trying to reason with this 'walking abortion' and immediately removed her from the bar with force.

Upon doing this chav lady's bowels thought it would be nice to say 'hello' during the activity of being dragged silly out of the bar.
unfortunately she was waring a skirt at the time.

After having the odd plop whilst walking/being dragged she proceeded to argue her case to the bouncers out side of the bar, absolutely red with rage whilst an every now and then to odd poo would plop from her skirt.

at this point she has made a bit of a spectacle and a small crowd gathers around for a bit of entertainment.

"whats up? shit your self?" asked the bouncer

"YES I 'AVE FUCKIN' SHIT MY SELF!" argues chav, she then notices one of her sad loser friends a distance away and shouted...

"SIMO, SIMO, SHE'S MADE ME FUCKIN' SHIT MY SELF!!!" (did I mention small crowd)



The amazing thing is, the next day when the female bouncer arrived for work, shitty chav actually had the cheek return to the bar (let alone return to same town) and give female bouncer the filthiest look ever.

so that was a 1st for me, i had met some one who had shat them selves in public and unbelievably had still felt dignified.



sorry for length etc
(, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:15, 4 replies)
I have frequented a few Goose pubs

and it must be a trait with them that they attract the dregs of society. The one in Scotland where I live is full of the local ned scum, but undoubtedly the worst was in London, Stratford to be precise, where a guy, probably in his fifties, puked over himself, the table and the floor and just carried on drinking.
(, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 15:29, closed)
aaaah the Goose in Nottingham
Takes me back :-)
(, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 16:22, closed)
ah The Goose
as soon as I found out my old works night out was starting there, I decided against going. The Glasgow one isn't particularly nice to look at from the outside during the day, nevermind enter at night
(, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 17:22, closed)
She was merely living up to the name of the pub
by shitting like a goose.

(From the sounds of things around here lately, she might be a b3tan!)
(, Fri 5 Sep 2008, 18:30, closed)

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