Nugget Bloke
Among the chavs and twats that inhabit the town where I work there is one truly special customer. Nugget Bloke.

His crimes against reason include (on separate occasions)

* Shitting in the middle of the floor in front of the toilet.

* Smearing his own shit around the walls, floor and ceiling of the customer toilet.

* Damaging the toilet so that water was literally fountaining out of the supply pipe and nonchalantly leaving the shop.

The first time I encountered Nugget Bloke was during my first week at my new job in a fast food outlet. Not one of the multinationals. I'm working with the new manageress when this man comes in alone and proceeds to ask in a very quiet voice how much this combination, that combination, oh no, maybe the first combination again costs. Eventually he decides, pays for his food and sits down while we cook it for him and take it to him.

A few minutes later he's back at the till saying that his friend has changed his mind about the drink ordered and could we change it. The manageress looks at me with wide eyes but we change the drink and he goes back to the table and pushes it to the empty seat opposite him.

It's a small town and his family is fairly large. Can't tell him what I think of him for fear of upsetting them. So every time he comes in I just have to smile take his money and pray that he doesn't go near the toilet.
(manwiddicombe is thinking of something witty to add here, Sat 6 Sep 2008, 1:31, Reply)