I'm a security officer....
So I've seen my share of nightmare customers. couple examples follow:

1) Ok, so there are alot of differences in Sottish and English law, for starts the 24Hr alcohol licensing doesnt happe in Scotland. The latest a shop/supermarket can sell acomahols is 10pm While contracted out to the "lowest bidder" (Resco... or some pish like that) I heard a scuffle happening over by the Tills. So I wandered over to see if anyone was bleeding yet. (They niknamed my store Bosnia!)

I see a Short, Skinny, Manky looking skin-head Yelling at the poor lassie...

Cunt: I'm just wanting a few FUCKING cans!

Cashier: Sorry sir, but due to scottish licensing laws we cannot sell alcohol after 10pm, The time now is 10.02pm sir. The till won't let me put it through.
(very well done on her part)

Cunt: If this was chelsea I'd cut your fucking ears off!

TB: Sorry sir but this isnt't chealsea, If you dont behave

Cunt: Where the fuck did you come from

TB: Thats enough, out you go. Or I'll call the police

(walking him to the door, He had calmed a little then said...)

Cunt: Fuck Scotish law!
Just as the police walked in (management called them) The police bounced him up and down a bit before taking him in ;D

2) 2 Guys and a telly! While working out of town. i was covering another "Resco" Andthe manager told me to follow a female customer. "Aye her mate, total junkie" (out o earshot) So I'm subtly tracing her movements and keeping an eye out for any sign of consealed items or hidden pockets. When the front door alarm goes off (you know the one when the cashier forgets to take the tags off your clothing/boose/DVD's!) So I Jog over to check it out. and there is a staff meber saying "they ran that way."

Well they already got a head start on me so theres no way I'm catching them. So I go to the CCTV room and start checking the tapes...

You see the 2 guys come in and then just sprint with A TV. I got the times and camera numbers written down for my report and I see on the monitor the police walking in with the TV. They cought the buggers down the road. First thing they said was "we never knicked it!"

About an hour of giving statements and signing out the Tapes and stuff. I finally get toe the shop floor and the manager (that advised me to watch somone else) says "Why weren't you paying attention to the guys with the TV?" (Infront of all the other managers)

I screamed "DICK!" in his ear... (ok I didn't, but I wanted to)




Got LOads more but I dont have the time to write them all up.

Length: Proud enough!
(tammybear1985, Sun 7 Sep 2008, 5:13, Reply)