ah retail
i have fond memories of my time in retail. the days at victoria's secret dealing with the transvestites-in-hiding, asked daily to 'try this on you're the same size as my girlfriend', the packs of shoplifting moms looking for classy things 'like at frederick's of hollywood (tip to out-of-americaners: if you're looking for a subtle and seductive wedding night look, i've found the men's parrot beak cleverly placed over the man-u-lar unit to be simple but oh so sexy. fact).'

yes, fond memories all. but mostly bad ones. crate&barrel, which is really an excellent place to work with fab products, inspired a lot of copycat 'home stores' -- eddie bauer home, banana republic home, macy's home ---
crap situation #1: doing wedding registry (the task of walking round a store while the bride points at every. single. thing. and says 'I WANT THAT TOO'), while the bride fumes and storms away because 'even that shopgirl's ring is bigger than mine'.
crap situation #2:the horrid stereotypical Jewish ladies whose every ism was convincing proof that Hitler had worked in retail at some point early on. and of course the general jerks and dicks and weiners in the world being jerks and dicks and weiners. but i digress.
this story is one for the struggling sad wage earners just trying to hold down a job before they grow up. and here it is: i had had many department manager positions at C&B - and i knew my shit. want to know all there is to know about fine german knives? i'm your girl. temperature at which copper cookware is more effective? yep, me too. so: one day a woman (fake nails, bleached to the point of death blonde hair, and her bitch face on just for me - brought to me a platter and demanded to return it. we had a very liberal return policy so no problem, but i couldn't return it for her. she of course immediately throws a fit in front of many people, more gathering to watch, hoping to rubberneck a gruesome accident. i said it was simply that the product wasn't ours. WHAT? SCREECH? BITCH? WHATDOYOUMEANIT'SNOTYOURSOFCOURSEIT'SYOURYOUBITCHHOWCANYOUBESOSTUBESOSTUPPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahem.
me: 'well ma'am this is stoneware which doesn't retain color as well as earthenware,the normal medium for this kind of platter. since the colors are vibrant they've been paiinted on instead of added during the firing period. our porcelain comes from portugal or spain, while this says 'bangladesh' on the signature beneath the paint, and as you can see, there is nothing else like it in our store - we normally sell these items in groups, so your platter s will match, etc -- and a quick look through the catalogs will show you we haven't carried anything like this in at least a year. she" 'IKNOW I BOUGHT IT HERE YOU J UST THINK I'M STUPID! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHERE IT COMES FROM??'
me: 'well, ma'am, for all the reasons i've just outlined, and because it says 'banana republic' on the back.
sweet sweet justice.
(sar "though she be but little she is fierce", Sun 7 Sep 2008, 7:51, 1 reply)

*click*
Mostly for going through all the other reasons before mentioning the banana republic part. Sweet.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 6:42, closed)