It's your fault because...
Some people just generate annoyance like like a giant shining Branson in the night. A group arrives and a guy buys a drink. Nothing wrong with that, we would think. He hands over a tenner which has to be checked via UV light. And it is.

"Haw, gonnae no treat us like a criminal, eh?" he says. (translation: Your undertakings suggest you suspect me of criminal activity and that simply tickles my goat. In a bad way.)

You're not fucking special, right? It's a bank note. We check all bank notes. We don't like forgeries, it causes us trouble. Therefore we check.

Twenty? Gets checked.
Tenner? Gets checked.
Fiver? Gets checked.
Pound note? ...I'd probably get that framed, actually, I haven't seen one in about four years.

Anyway, manager explains this. Guy is still irritated/stupid/constipated, but his mates convince him to drop it. To this day, he's the only person I know of who's complained about his money being checked. Bloody twuntsicle.

Anyway, I go to do something else and return minutes later to find a wet bar and the same guy complaining to the manager. Apparently he'd stuck his fingers in to retrieve the ice he didn't ask for (or object to) and spilt half his drink on the bar.

He was asking for his drink to be topped up. With just alcohol. (was a vodka mixer IIRC) On the basis that he'd stuck his hand in it. If he'd asked us, our handy little tongs could've got it out in no time. (he'd probably still have asked us to top it up) Manager steadfastly refuses to provide him with more drink on the basis he's a tit.

The debacle eventually ended when, after my manager had gestured towards the drink whilst arguing her case, the guy interrupted her with the words "Monkeys point.". Not sure what he thought he'd gain form this, but he was told to finish up, leave and not return. Got off lightly if you ask me.

Moral? Don't attempt to get refunds or replacements by insulting people who have the right to tell you to piss off and not return. They will often choose to exercise said right.

And if your friend is acting like an utter twat, say something. Don't let them keep doing it just because you know them, it's still wrong and stupid.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Mon 8 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)