I can't look at aftershave now without being baffled by my actions.
I was in a foul mood. A really bad one.

The best thing about going on unpaid work experience is that you don't have anything to lose when some jumped up little Hitler saturates the air around you with foul language at the counter in Superdrug.

A fat, piebald, whiny old arse came stamping up to the counter where poor me was on work experience. He gave me a dull tale that could have taken 5 seconds but he spent 5 minutes raging that a bottle of aftershave (which the tight bastard had received as a GIFT) lost it's smell after an hour and it "smells like bollocks after half an hour anyway then there's no smell at all! What good is no smell at all???"

I started to giggle for the first time that day, he had essentially said he had a desire to smell of bollocks!

A silly woman who took her shitty job way too seriously actually tried to explain to the complaining bastard about the chemicals in the bottle. I interjected with this:

"If you want to smell like bollocks all why not leave the aftershave with us and let your stinking fucking body do it's magic???!!"

I had no idea that was going to pop out of my mouth. I was probably more surprised than he was...

The girl at the counter shouted over me but the whinger had heard what I'd said and refused to speak when I was still within ear shot. They later tried to accuse me of stealing to get rid of me and my mouth, which was funny, as all the toiletries in my hand bag, get this, ha-ha, WERE NOT PRODUCED BY THE CUNTS THAT ARE SUPERDRUG.

Superdrug made me want to take drugs, everybody who works there should be thrown into the air like clay pigeons and shot to pieces.

Indeed.
(trippeh, Mon 8 Sep 2008, 21:27, Reply)