Health food nuts
I used to work in a busy, over-stocked health food store that sold everything from pointless placebos (sorry, health supplements) to body-building products to organic fruit and vegetables.
Now, as anyone who's ever worked in a health food store can tell you, those places are magnets for weird customers so I wasn't as surprised as I could have been when I encountered this lady, we regularly had to comply to random nonsensical requests from odd customers....
One day while serving a customer at the counter I saw out the corner of my eye another lady who looked like she was waiting to be served but was standing a good 8-10 feet behind the customer I was currently serving. I finished the first lady's transaction and turned to the other lady who waited until the first was well on her way out of the shop before approaching the counter. As I reached out to take her basket from her she pulled back and asked me if I wouldn't mind turning away from her and the food as I was ringing it through the checkout. Initially I thought this was some kind of ploy to allow her to shoplift but, on seeing the confused expression on my face, she enlightened me as to the reason I had to perform these mild contortions while serving her: you see, when food gets handled too much it apparently picks up 'energy' from every person it's been in contact with. This particular lady was extremely sensitive to such 'energies' and if she consumed said over-handled food it made her Very Sick Indeed. She informed me she had deliberately chosen the fruit and vegetables that were nearest the back of the display so as not to pick up the energy of all the other customers and staff who had walked past the fresh produce department (obviously not taking into account the number of people who had previously handled said food through farming, picking, packing and shipping). The weighing machine for the veggies was at a right angle to the counter which meant I had to actually stand with my back to the counter and twist my upper body just enough to grab stuff out of her basket, weigh it and enter it into the till, all the while being careful to never let it cross the front of my chest lest it should be contaminated with my energy. When anyone else came into the shop while I was serving her she'd run away from the counter until they had passed then rejoin me (at a safe distance) when the coast was clear. She wouldn't even hand me the money to pay for it directly, she had to put it on a piece of brown paper bag and slide it across the counter to me in case I accidentally touched her hand or she came into contact with the (swarming with energy) counter.
I was convinced for a while that I was being filmed for candid camera or something as all my colleagues had noticed what was happening and were standing just out of her line of sight taking the piss. It turns out they'd all had to deal with her at some point in the past and had deliberately left me as the only one on the tills when they saw her come in. Bastards!
(antigen is running away from something, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 5:48, 5 replies)

Ok
Have a click from me because this is the best customer from hell I have read about in this hallowed qotw.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 8:57, closed)

She built the hadron machine
to remove secret energies from her groceries :D

*clicks for mental woman*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 9:09, closed)

Poor fucking cow
This is what happens when the 'alternative therapy cunts' quackery reaches somebody with mental health issues.

They should feng shi their crystals up their fuck holes, imo.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 9 Sep 2008, 9:29, closed)

Tin foil hat with that?
Shocking, but sadly not suprising.
My local health food shop / quackery is full of customers who look like they suffer from scurvy. Maybe you should have suggested to her that she try breatharianism...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inedia
(Pickettywitchfinder General, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 9:58, closed)

It's her fault she got sick from other people's energies
She should learn to fucking cleanse her aura and her food with the white light and love from the Universe.

It's not difficult. Fucking amateur.







I'm kidding. (Wasn't going to include this bit but there might be a shitstorm.)
(oneltrchardonnay, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 12:05, closed)