My attempt at being a CFH
I will say from the outset I have HUGE respect for McDonalds workers (and all other fast food outlets for that matter). I'm serious too. Anyone who, rather than simply go on the dole, will suffer the stench of fried stray kitten, the lowest caravan dwelling benefit-maggots society has to offer, lower than a Katie Melua gig wage and a management that would make Hitler Himself start listening to Rage Against the Machine, is alright in my book.

Except for one incident in a McDonalds drive through somewhere in the West Midlands (Oldbury I think).

Anyway, me and a few others were planning to drive out to the Malvern Hills for the day, and the best way to start a nature filled day was with £20 worth of sausage and egg McMuffins and orange juice for us all. This was a Sunday morning so we figured it should be fairly docile. Nup. It was jammed to the rafters with fat pikey spawning chavqueenants and Sunday league football teams looking to Ron McDon to cure their hangovers. We figured we'd wait in line rather than drive around. We ordered our food and stood to one side and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Now I know that queuing is the British pastime but when you've waited 45 minutes for breakfast and every person behind you has ordered, eaten and left, AND the orange council estate goblin behind the counter is busy chatting up an entire football team...well, Britishness goes out the window. After we complained and had our food plonked on the dirty table with a bitter disinterest, we divulged in a hedonistic outburst of "well I never"'s and "honestly, how rude!"'s. I absolutely hate complaining since I know how bloody horrible it is to have someone make an unbearable job that little bit worse. But I thought fuck it - this little oik deserved it.

My original plan was that we tip over the table and leave food and dribble bits of juice all over the floor, and leave in a maelstrom of hand gestures and naughty words. But fuck goddamnit. I put my hands against the table, ready to thrust it to the ground in indignation...and...nope, nothing. My stupid ingrained politeness was blocking the electrical impulses to my hands. So I place the tray on the floor instead. Just under the table in case the poor lass trips on it. That'll learn em.

Fuck it.

...though afterwards I did write a mean letter to Ronald McDonald and got her fired, AND we each got £30 of Maccys vouchers. I'm not entirely sure if £30 worth of McDonalds counts as an apology or a punishment...
(GONEism, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 19:39, 3 replies)

I think
it's a challenge
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Tue 9 Sep 2008, 21:17, closed)

I think
It's a health hazard.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:32, closed)

I know ir
I have been tutted at when ordering a McDeath burger in there. I got revenge by paying in five pence pieces, slowly.
(Siouxfan I'm not staring at you, I am just short sighted, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 21:22, closed)