Bike shop and a half
The first one was at a large, orange themed car parts/pretend bike retailer. Customer walks in holding a front wheel. He says he has a puncture, and wants and new tyre and tube.

Me:
"That'll be about £20, depending on the tyre....ooh, hang on. It's got sick on it. You'll have to clean that off first"

The tyre had lovely chunks of curdly, scrambled egg looking puke on it. Awesome.

Him:
"Yes, I know. That's why I want a new tyre and I want you to do it."

Me:
"Ok. Fuck off."

He went a bit mental. Stormed off to the supervisor, who after I had explained my side of the argument, came back with the mother of all replies.

"Fair enough...."


Now I work in a proper, specialised bike shop, you tend to get a higher class of idiot. The ones you really don't know how they hold down their 40K a year job.

Mannie buys a cycle computer off us. I take it out of the box and show him how to fit it.

"will this fit my bike?"
yes
"How do you know?"
They fit any bike
"and mine?"
yes
"Can I bring it back if it doesn't fit?"
yes

so he buys it...all happy for a week or two, then he comes back in.

"Hi...I bought this computer off you..I'm not sure if it's set up right. I think it's showing a slower speed than I'm going.."

I check the setup (it's based on wheel size) It's fine, I say

"Can't you adjust it? I think it's wrong. I seem to be going a lot faster than it says..."

There is about 10 minutes of conversation between us, which I shall miss out, mainly because I wasn't really paying attention myself and can't really remember what was said.

Then he dropped the biggun...

"Can't you come and ride alongside me and then I can compare the speeds?" I was speechless. I just had to walk away.

Last bloke not really a customer, but you have to admire the guy for determination. We'd just locked up,shop closes and half 5, this was about quarter to 6. Shutters down, lights off, computers off etc. Guy steps under the front shutter and starts banging on the front door, just as we are about to leave. We stay out the back, waiting for this guy to bugger off. But he doesn't. For TWENTY minutes. In the end, we decide to leave anyway. Unlock the front door, "Sorry mate, we're closed"

"That's ok, I just wanted to know what time you opened in the morning"

"Um....9. Like it says on that sign, there" (pointing to the closed sign on the door)


Fucks sake.
(Bommer remembered to log in, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 2:38, Reply)