Final Airport One,I Promise
Now, we used to see a fair old cross-section of humanity pouring through arrivals, and as luck would have it, we got all the 'odd' ones. Why? Because you could pay for your hire car in advance, in another country, in cash, get a voucher, and pay your security deposit in cash. So all you needed was a driving licence or something resembling it. All the other hire companies insisted on credit cards, but not us, no siree.

So, we saw a succession of odd characters who needed a car with absolutely no connection to themselves (at least that's what they thought), and every now and then we'd have to retrieve some of our cars from the police/customs compound, covered in fingerprint powder, and hopefully not cut to tiny bits.

Now one of the girls working there, Michelle by name, was very ambitious. Thick as a plank, but once the scripts were programmed, she would robotically do her job quite well. Anything outside the script, and she was in a creek-minus-paddle situation. It also helped that she was quite easy on the eye, and quite frankly quite do-able, if you weren't put off by the raucous Harlow accent.

Now, she was after a promotion, and was always showing how dedicated she was. Whenever she handed over the keys, she would always end up with the words "now if anything goes wrong, or there's anything at all you need, just call me, my name is M-I-C-H-E-L-L-E, that's Michelle, anytime. Have a nice day".

Soo, off a big metal bird comes these three chaps. Normal enough, except that one had a briefcase tied to his wrist, and the youngster was obviously stoned off his tits. I'm not sure where his mind was, possibly orbiting Neptune, but he was ambling around, bumping into things and smiling like a Cheshire Cat. The 'talker' seemed normal enough, but he reeked of Ganj, even though he was coherent enough, and both his eyes were actually pointing in the right direction, so Michelle does her uber-customer relations bit while covertly glancing at the visiting Area Manager.

Two days later, the car is overdue. "Oh bollocks, not another one" sez I, as I amble off down to the plod. Nice copper finds out that the car was in the custody of HM Customs, and it'd be a while before we got it back. "Ho Hum, I'll tag it on the system, give us a call when you're finished, will ya?"

(Turns out our chaps had been attempting make a fairly hefty freelance pharmaceutical purchase)

However.

'Ring Ring'
"Hello, ThankYou for calling XXXXXX rental, my name is Michelle, how can I help you?"

"Isz Kev"

"Pardon?"

"Iss Kev, I had the Mondeo on on Schunday I fink. Schbeen umm lost. Needszz anuvver car.........(clatter)....fleeble....THUD. Brrrrrrrrrrr"

(Released on bail, gets more stoned than a biblical execution, and tries to blag another car to go about his business....)

'Ring Ring'

"Thankyou for...."

"S'Kev. Need 'nuvver car NOW"

"I'm sorry Sir, as the last vehicle has been detained by the authorities, I am afraid that I am unable..."

"You shed if dere was ANYTHING I needed I should call you ya schlag..."

"But But But" Sez Michelle, sounding like a small malfunctioning outboard motor..."But"

"I NEED A CAR"

Management time...

"What you need mate, is a solicitor"

"Whozzat? But how'm I gonna get back *Sobs*" Brrrrrrrrr....

And that










Was when the Bust Stoner Called 'Chelle.







*shame*
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:05, 3 replies)

Wonderful!
Brilliant!

Fantastic!

*click*

*SPANG*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 11:32, closed)

Grrrrrrr
that is all :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 12:09, closed)

Grrrr.
Took me til' the last line and now Im upset.
( KernKraft Gosh, there isn't much noise outside today, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 13:37, closed)