Not exactly from hell
But annoying nonetheless.

Being a student and in desperate need of money, bar work is the easiest thing. During my holidays I worked in my local. It's a nice pub, all the regulars know me and banter is the name of the game. Don't work there now though as new management means its turned in to a dive. But anywho, this story concerns an elderly couple who would come in about 3 or 4 times a week. They were rather well off (as you would expect in Surrey) and had the annoying Queens english accent. The husband would usually open a tab, they would stay for a few drinks and then go home. Rarely any complaints, and they were polite and all.

However, the problem would be when they got chatting to people. They'd stay for more than their customary few drinks, rounds would be bought, chaos would ensue. One memorable occasion was one sunday evening. This couple had been in all day, drinking with another couple of regulars, and all were very drunk. The husband had gone to the toilets (the toilets were upstairs) and on his way back had used the bar to help him walk, stopping every now and then when gravity was getting the better of him. He came up to me, slurred some drink order, and I politely refused to serve him, as my job required me to do. He didn't like that, and got angry, demanded to speak to my manager as they were friends and he would never refuse service. So, whilst my manager was on his way, I served someone else, who made the comment "And they say youngsters can't handle their drink." At this point the gentleman in question was trying to lean on a high table but kept slipping off. Was quite funny really. My manager arrives, I explain why I won't serve him, he says to give him half a pint and that would be it for the night. I was fuming, majorly annoyed that he had undermined me, I said that he would have to serve him as I still refused to. The old man took his drink, smirked at me, turned around and promptly fell over throwing the drink on the floor. Point proven really.

The wife was just as bad sometimes. Especially if she sat with the builders. Glasses of red wine knocked everywhere... she only seemed to drink red wine when she was really drunk. Once service was refused, she'd get the builders to order her drink, which of course I refused to serve, even when they tried to claim it was for them.... as oppossed to their usual order of 5 pints of rats piss. Builders used to get a bit miffed, saying it was OK, she was with them. Trying to explain that I am required by law not to serve drunk people (yes, pub law seems a bit strnage in that respect), and I didn't want the thought of that one drink could mean that when she walked out of the pub she fell over and hit her head on my conscience, they relented. After much screaming and shouting from the old lady.

They gave me a tenner when i left at the end of the summer to go back to uni, and a thank you for looking after them. So not so much from hell, just a pain at the time.

Length? Well, she couldn't handle it, but neither could he
(timewarper, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 18:00, 4 replies)

Why does The Queen's English annoy you?
I wish more people spoke properly - instead of the usual slurring rubbish you usually get from the youth of today.
(EuroSong I love horse meat: best of all the animals, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 18:08, closed)

nasal voices
the really posh up your own arse voices, the ones used that make you feel like something they've just trodden in. don't get me wrong, i hate chav talk and txt spk, but when i'm being spoken to as though i'm dumb, i always want to turn around and shout "i'm only here to pay for my university education!"
(timewarper, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 18:14, closed)

From the story...
You seem to have a somewhat officious stance.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 18:15, closed)

yey for pub faceplants
that'll learn 'im.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 19:23, closed)