More motorcycle rage
My first go at riding bikes was with a company that only my bike shop recommended.

Once again I got to be the customer from Hell. You see I am a teacher and a climbing Instructor/Mountain leader, so I know a thing or three about teaching and training of people, especially to do dangerous things.

Said Instructor introduces himself and proceeds to tell us the facts, helmets, road use etc. No problem so far, I sit there like a good girl and pay attention.

Then we are lead outside and given a motor bike to play with. Never ridden one before I ask questions, what does this do, how does that work?

Then I get the yelling for not using a clutch properly. Bare in mind I had not used one before and I do not drive, so I asked him to explain. I am letting it out too quickly and do not have enough engine revs. Then I am bollocked for screaming the engine and holding the clutch too long. My blood is boiling because I do not enjoy paying money to be shouted at. I paid my hundred quid to be spoken to politely and instructed on the correct use of a motorcycle... I am an instructor and I do not approve of your methods. I am simmering. He informs me that I have failed my CBT and I must redo it because I am unable to control a clutch.

So I pay for another day with him. A very pretty blonde Nurse is in to learn with another instructor and my Instructor pisses off to flirt with her and help her ride her bike. I am left standing in a car park with a bike I can't ride.

The Instructor and I have an argument, there is a slight possibility* that I may have called him a "Useless fucking Cunt!" He tells me that he does not want to teach me anymore and gives me to his mate.

His mate looks at me and says "Oh you ride a mountain bike don't you?" HE smiles and says do it like this.

Thiry minutes later I am on the road and have passed my CBT. Emergency stops are a doddle and I can even turn the bike on a penny.

My Former Instructor comes back to speak to me and informs me that he knew I could do it. I Leave his training centre and give him the finger.





*as in yes I did say that very loudly to the Instructor and I had witnesses who flinched when I opened my mouth after that!
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 21:35, 7 replies)

I had
four attempts at my CBT.

I was shit at riding bicycles to start with, and just couldn't get to grips with a motorbike.

Until I went to another training school that is, where I did it first time.

I now have my full license. Perseverence pays off eh?
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 21:51, closed)

Erm...
...Whats a CBT? Is it a type of badger?
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Wed 10 Sep 2008, 23:12, closed)

CBT is a "Compulsory Basic Training" one day course, in the UK, for those wishing to ride motorcycles.

Usually, you take the theory test, then the CBT day, then several days of lessons, then take your practical test.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compulsory_Basic_Training
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 4:30, closed)

I'm going to be doing mine soon
but have no idea what to expect, what does it involve? Is it hard? I've never rode a motorbike before...
(gin'll fix it, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 10:36, closed)

Not trying to be funny here but... Why do people drive bikes? You can't put your shopping in them and you can't take people with you (well maybe 1). Also you'd be fucked in a crash.

So would someone like to sell the idea of motorcycles to me (I don't drive either)...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 11:02, closed)

@TDW
Cheaper on insurance, petrol and tax than a car. Also more fun (on a sunny day).

And what's this about not being able to carry your shopping? You can strap anything to a bike with a bit of creativity...
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 11:33, closed)

All them reasons above
Also, you gets to wear leather and almost die on a regular basis. It's like being a cheap superhero.

I'm Almost-Man, the guy who clips your wingmirror and is almost a wet stain on the A14.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 11 Sep 2008, 12:33, closed)