Another one...
My best friend in middle school had three pet snakes, one of whom was a twelve-foot boa constrictor called Dizzy. One evening, when I was having tea around said friend's house and her dad and his friends were getting pissed and watching the wrestling, we realised Dizzy had escaped.

After about an hour searching, someone thought to look under the sofa. Curled up inside the lining, where it's nice and warm, was the massive bulk of Dizzy.

My friend and I were told to go upstairs and not come down again until the snake was back in the tank.

The last thing we heard before lots of thuds and swearing was someone slurring loudly: "Ey, let's poke it with a stick!"
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 20:31, Reply)