Not me, butt....
'A German steel foundry worker has been given a nine months jail sentence after poking an air rifle up his friend's bottom and firing it - causing his intestines to explode. Denis Schwarz, 25, said he'd only wanted to help his pal who had complained about sweaty buttocks from working in the Halberg Guss factory where molten metal kept temperatures soaring. He said he had jokingly offered to help his friend cool down by blowing some air over him and said: "We often played around with air rifles - it was just a bit of fooling around - I said I was going to shoot him in the bum. He said he didn't care and I pulled the trigger and he just collapsed."

'The Court in Leipzig, which gave him a suspended sentence, heard that the high pressure air blast had ruptured the man's intestines and he had almost died. His victim said: "I suddenly felt this incredible pain - you can't imagine it. I couldn't breathe it hurt so much, you can't know how happy I was when I got to hospital and they gave me an anaesthetic." Prosecutors told the court: "The blast of air burst his intestines causing massive internal bleeding. It was an emergency operation which the victim almost died from. He was in intensive care for 11 days. A big section of his large intestine was removed and he had to have a bag fitted to collect waste" - Austrian Times.
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:28, 10 replies)

Can't
anyone just quote a story from a newspaper?
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:39, closed)

no. only the very best people
unlucky
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:43, closed)

^^
Confused

I must be having a slow day
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 16:48, closed)

Story isn't even right.
The same story was in paper last week, except in the paper it said an airline, not an air rifle.
(tyranical, Mon 16 Feb 2009, 22:31, closed)

what?
he shoved British Airways up his arse?
(Bluffboy South Africa! World Champions!!!, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 7:12, closed)

No.
A compressed air airline, as in, the thing you plug into pneumatic tooling to make it go zoom zoom.
(tyranical, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 22:13, closed)

Yes `anybody can quote a story from a newspaper'
I thought it was relevent and amusing - sorry that you don't see it the same way Fuckarma
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 10:23, closed)

This
has my bullshit detector tingling.

But the article *is* from the Austrian Times - I just don't believe a word of it.

I've been shot loads of times with air rifles without any pellets in. Just air. And I can't see how that could possibly rupture someones intestine.

Another thing. How the hell did he get the air rifle up someones arse? Did his pal drop his trousers and let him shove an air rifle up his arse? And what about the sights on the end of the barrel? They would have ripped his starfish up something rotten.

No. I smell bullshit.

Cheers

EDIT: www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,25041090-5013016,00.html

According to that link it was a high pressure air line - not an air pistol. That makes a bit more sense.....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 11:07, closed)

Thanks for that Legless
:)
( DUMBLONDE is a rubber lover girl, Tue 17 Feb 2009, 12:30, closed)

Since when did everyone become so
puritanical about the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? This is the internet! Even if something is not 100% accurate, it is still ok. Air rifle, air line, who cares (although I did picture someone trying to shove a 747 up somones but when i first read that) its still funnny and based on truth.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:20, closed)