have a repost from 2008 because you love it, you dirty dirty bitches
"my friend evie went on a first date on saturday night with a guy she really, really likes. she was very nervous, but it all went swimmingly well.

so well, in fact, that when they were walking romantically along waterloo bridge at the end of the night (most romantic views in london? arguably yes!), he tipped her chin up, put his mouth on hers, hands cupping her face and stroking her hair, and kissed her. she said it was magical, an amazing kiss, lights of london spread out before them, stars twinkling, his mouth warm and firm on hers, knees buckling...

then, as they finished kissing, he pulled slightly away and looked deep into her eyes.

and what did evie do in response? drawing in a ragged breath, heart pounding, she announced:

"eeeees niiiiiiice!"

in her best borat voice. why? why?? she has absolutely no idea. all she knows is that he folded her into the next orange-lighted taxi and hasn't texted or called her yet.............."

2014 update: the date that really went wrong was the one where she met her now husband. i miss her love life disasters, i really really do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:38, 10 replies)

I might save time and write a replybot that says "what a doofus" to every single story this week.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:43, closed)

What would you do with all the spare time you'd create?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:47, closed)

your mum

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:50, closed)

oh ha ha if replies could win etc

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 14:51, closed)

^ bitter spinster

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:11, closed)

i'm not even that interesting

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 15:58, closed)

^honest

( gone, Thu 4 Sep 2014, 20:37, closed)