Peas!
When I was 17 I was going out with this girl who was also 17, and she was - well - 17 - she was absolutely bloody gorgeous.

And obviously we were very horny.

And we fooled around an awful lot, BUT

She said she was saving herself.

And, because I'd been brought up right, I respected that. I have two older sisters, who had told me in no uncertain terms that when I came of age I was to respect a girl's decision when she says stuff like that, as she would feel pressured and then awful and dirty and used and stuff afterwards if you didn't.

And this girl I was seeing, one evening when we had some time to ourselves, sat across my lap, with just my shirt on, completely unbuttoned, and whispered, "Screw me".

And verily I didde think, "Ah no - for the woman hath been infected with LUST, and she knows not of what she speaks!" and I did notte doe thee dirty deed to her, for I thought of myself as honourable.

And woe was me, for she dumped me as a result.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 12:09, 3 replies)

ohhhhhhh you silly sausage.

(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Sep 2010, 12:12, closed)

Have a hug
You gentleman, you
(jellybeanflicker Jesus was Korean, but there he was Cho Sun Wun, Thu 23 Sep 2010, 18:06, closed)

I'm
short of breath

I think I'm dying
(lemonadegame, Fri 24 Sep 2010, 7:00, closed)