I am the Firestarter
When I was a lad, I had a pyro faze. Don't know why, just loved the fire. Two examples:

Sub age of eight: wanted to burn little pieces of paper. Had paper; had matches. Looking for way to do it in my bedroom so no one would catch me. Answer? A cardboard shoe box! So I ripped up the paper into little squares, and had 15 minutes of pure joy. After all the paper had burned out and I had congratulated myself on a sneaky job well done, I lifted the shoe box and noticed that it had burned a hole in the bottom and the carpet beneath was melted and scorched. Cue sick feeling in the gut. Got a hiding for that one.

Around 9-10 years old: went hiking in the mountains with cub scout troop. Had some stick matches and was lighting them and watching them until we went out. Repeat. Well, this was in New Mexico, on the desert side of the mountain and, well, I started a huuuuugge brush fire on the mountain. We had walked about 50 yards beyond where it started and were alerted that it was there by a huge "whooooosh", leaping flames and the snap, crackle, pop of burning sage, cactus and grasses.

Cue eight cub scouters kicking and throwing sand like blue colored bullies at nerd day on the beach. We weren't too far away from civilization so it was stopped by the firemans after just an acre or so had burned.

One of the cubbies narc'd me out and my dad had me stand by him for hours that night so that when he remembered what a dork I'd been that day he could reach out, grab me by the back of the hair and give a good shake.

In hindsight, I don't know what I was thinking or why the allure was so strong. Had two friends who later played with matches and gasoline and really mucked themselves up, so I guess I was lucky.

Now I have channeled my pyromania and my fire is contained happily in a backyard firepit. I am now the hero of the local neighbor kids for being so willing to make a fire for their marshmallows and s'mores.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 17:41, 3 replies)

This
is truly inspired parenting...

"...my dad had me stand by him for hours that night so that when he remembered what a dork I'd been..."

*takes notes*
(gr33npeace, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 13:18, closed)

yes, the anticipation of torture often overshadowed the actual pain
Plus, he assured himself of the option of a full hand of hair grab, or the little single lock pull. Both hurt, just in different ways.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 15:16, closed)

Haha, this deserves a click...
...for "blue colored bullies at nerd day on the beach", never mind the rest! :D

*clicks*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 13:26, closed)