For a school talent show...
I must have been, ooh, 8, and as this was the spring of '95, a small band called Oasis were being hailed as gods by every music publication. You may have heard of them. This is relevant. Anyway, at my primary school, it'd just been announced there was going to be a talent contest the following week, with EVERYONE performing. The maximum amount of time we'd have was going to be five minutes, in which we had to wow our audience, which was the rest of our class. Each class would have a specific day in which they were performing, during that week. My class was to perform on Monday.

Crap.

I was 8, I had no real talents then.

So, being brainless, I went home, and didn't tell my parents about the talent-show, figuring I could just wing it somehow. I pass through the week in my usual absent-mindedness, and come Sunday night, I'm bricking myself, as the talent show was the next day. So I potter around the house, wondering just what I can do, wandering from room to room. As I tended to do this anyway, my parents thought nothing of it. I happened to wander into the living room, and find a few magazines on the coffee table. These provide the idea for the talent show that, 15 years on, is still haunting me.

I go to school the next day, attracting a few odd looks from, well, virtually everyone, parents included. I pass through the day with the occasional "Are you alright?" from the teachers, and stares from my mates, but I don't care. My masterplan is in fruition. And then, it's time for the talent show. By random chance, my name is called out first as it's drawn first from the hat, and I swagger onto the stage. Or attempt to. I'm only 8.

And proceed to randomly bellow out "GONNA LIVE FOREVER!".

In my best Liam Gallagher impression. I hasten to add that I had a west country accent. After my (awesome, or so I thought) impression, I stand on stage for a good thirty seconds, whilst everyone continues to stare at me, before deciding to just leave the stage. Without saying anything else. There was utter, shocked silence from everyone.

I had spent the entire day wearing a parka. In the middle of summer. Just to look like Liam. Hence the strange looks. I'd also tried to recreate Liam's smoking habit, but without actually using cigarettes, instead figuring that a lollipop looked roughly the same as a fag if I had only the white stick showing. So somehow, I'd combined Liam Gallagher with Kojak. Except back then, I also wore glasses. Massive, thick glasses.

In essence, I looked nothing like Liam Gallagher, sounded nothing like him, and I'd just tried to impersonate him in front of about 30 odd kids. And the teachers.

15 years on, and I'm still haunted by this.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 22:36, 5 replies)

Aww bless
sniggers
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 22:53, closed)

I'm impressed
At 8 yrs of age that you chose something rocking and remembered the words. Well done. I feel cringey on your behalf and it is gonna haunt me for the rest of the day.
(boozehound is drinking your bar dry, Tue 28 Sep 2010, 23:11, closed)

Excellent
I'm glad I got someone else to feel cringey about this.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 19:36, closed)

VIDEO?
Was this recorded?
(Chopsey, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 19:31, closed)

Thankfully not
Otherwise I'd never dare to show my face in public or online ever as it'd go online everywhere knowing my family.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Wed 29 Sep 2010, 19:36, closed)