Sledgehammer: Man versus MEGASHED
I bought a house a few years ago, where the previous owner had an obsession with two things: Leylandia trees and garden buildings. The back yard was a forest of Leylandia, which were pulled out of the ground and chopped up over a period of several months, and there were no fewer than four sheds.

Thanks to a slash-and-burn policy, we soon ended up with a pretty acceptable garden, and I was set to work on demolishing the fourth shed at the top of the garden, which we had christened MEGASHED. It was huge. Previous Irish Owner had built it himself out of huge sheets of plywood and it stood well over ten feet tall and might have doubled up as a squash court if it were not such a bloody craphole.

After getting the doors and a few of the side panels off through brute force and a crowbar, I wondered if there might be a quicker way to finish the job, all the time eyeing up one of the huge lengths of four-by-four holding the thing up.

I selected my biggest sledgehammer, and with main strength, knocked out one of the corner supports with a single blow. Then, a couple of hefty swings took out another, as nails and other low-quality fixings pinged about me.

In retrospect, I should have stopped there, taken the roof off and perhaps a couple of now unsupported walls. But I did not. Instead, I lined up with a third corner support, felt rather satisfied with the thunk as it fell ago, almost immediately taken over by fear, darkness and agony as the entire structure folded in on itself like the final scene from Poltergeist.

I lay there for some time on the concrete floor, considering my folly. Then, shouted for help, and it came. Eventually.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 13:54, 11 replies)

There is an easier way.
Stuff it full of the branches from the trees you removed, pour in a liter or two of gasoline, close the doors, wait an hour, then open the door and throw in a flare.

The local fire department where I lived used to blow up barns that way.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 8 Nov 2012, 14:22, closed)

Nice idea
But next door might have said a thing or two about me also burning down his garage
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 15:00, closed)

Ah, but what you're clearly forgetting
is that old Loonsy here has a well-documented history of not giving a flying toss about how his actions might affect others.

He'd probably just switch on his best Brian Blessed stentorian tones and tell his neighbour to get to fuck about his burning house, and then somehow end up getting a free meal out of it from some other poor cunt. Then he'd probably charge the neighbour to use his Star-Tac to call the fire brigade.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 17:09, closed)

Oh do
FUCK OFF.
(TheImmortalJenkins, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 17:45, closed)

^ BULLYING
There's no need for abusive language, thank you very much 'TheImmortalJenkins'. I've a good mind to go crying to the mods like a pissy little girl about this.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 17:49, closed)

It's vindictive, purposeless trolling like this that is killing QOTW.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 20:36, closed)

True enough.
The local fire brigade in that village were actually just a bunch of farmers who volunteered to be firemen. Which meant that they got to do shit like this without getting arrested.

One night I was at home and kept hearing a WHUMP coming from somewhere outside. I walked out and found the fire department burning the remains of a barn just down the road. The WHUMP was from their sons running up with gallon pails of petrol and throwing them on.

I miss those guys.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 16:59, closed)

So it's ok for you to post on QOTW about sheds, but if I do it, I get stepped.
One rule for the mods...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 8 Nov 2012, 19:10, closed)

You're just now realizing this?
RHIP and all that.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 9 Nov 2012, 19:49, closed)

So the very short version is that a scary snake might shed his skin but a scaryduck prefers to skin his shed.
(Carpe Cyprinidae, Sun 11 Nov 2012, 14:24, closed)

WINNAH!

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 12 Nov 2012, 8:53, closed)