RET Dramas.
A few years ago we got solar panels on our roof. We got 10 photovoltaic panels with a 1.5kW inverter. Part of the deal was that a good portion of the cost of the panels and installation was subsidised by a govt. scheme called the Renewable Energy Target or RET for short.

The setup was that once the panels had been installed by a licensed electrician we got them to sign off on some paperwork, they filled out a certificate of installation and then both parties sent their respective documents to the relevant govt. department. This had to be done within a month of the installation in order to claim the subsidy.
Me being the cheapskate that I am, I immediately contacted my good mate Mydeep the Indian sparky to see if he could do the job for me at mate's rates.
Since I was happy to throw in a carton on top of the price, he was going to get the parts at cost and then install them for me. We would claim the full rebate and split the difference on the money saved. Sweet!
Although this arrangement wasn't illegal it really wasn't that morally sound in it's intent.

Now despite the fact that he's a fucking good sparky, unfortunately for me Mydeep is really not that organised. That meant that about a week out from the due date when the paperwork was supposed to handed in I still hadn't heard from him to say that he'd sent his certificate of installation into the govt. I started to get a little bit stressed. Stressed enough to call him - straight to voicemail. So I tried to email him to no avail, so then I tried texting him. Nada. I tried his old pager number... Nothing. I tried ringing his missus - she hadn't seen him in a week! I even tried sending him a fat-o-gram to his business, they rang me to tell me the place was shut up and no-one was there.
Eventually out of frustration I got hold of a pilot friend of mine who owed me a favour... I asked him to fly a banner in circuits around Mydeep's house in the hopes that he would see it. As the banner wasn't cheap I was limited to what I could write. So there it was, billowing gently in the breeze as it flew past -
"Mydeep, seek RET"
(shitposter from the anals of posteriority on, Mon 11 May 2015, 10:27, 10 replies)

Lot of work for nothing
Neither cringeworthy enough as a pun or as tedious as Skagra. 1/10 try harder or don't bother.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 11 May 2015, 11:09, closed)

Must have taken you fucking ages to type all that with your head dobber

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 11 May 2015, 11:36, closed)

Yeah Mydeep isn't actually a name.
How long before you do another psycho abloobloo and get banned again?
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 11 May 2015, 11:36, closed)

Ruck Foff, Fob Airholme.

(lol man river definite greek god, Mon 11 May 2015, 11:38, closed)

I gave up during the first paragraph,
then replied anyway, as I take some small pleasure in pointing out how shit the whole endeavour was.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 May 2015, 12:54, closed)

Good stuff!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 11 May 2015, 13:14, closed)

needs more priya rai

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:14, closed)

I'm pretty sure these puns work best when you use actual words.
(cs1ca, Tue 12 May 2015, 14:51, closed)