How my cat almost became a transsexual
People who know me will testify that I dote on my cat the way that other people dote on their malformed, stupid and smelly children. Nevertheless, this does not mean that I am always competent in my pet-ownership. Such is evidenced by the fact that my cat once got so desperate for a wee that the vet recommended a sex change operation.

The story goes like this.

Metis, my cat, looked ill. He also smelled ill - you can tell when he's distressed because he starts to pong a bit. He seemed to be having particular difficulty walking - there was something stiff about his movement - and jumping up onto the sofa was a near-impossibility. Nevertheless, he would still purr when picked up, and so I figured that nothing too serious was amiss. A worming pill and a good night's sleep should cure him. Besides: it was a Sunday. The vet would be closed, and emergency veterinary cover is pricey.

At the time, the cat spent the night in the laundry room; he would hear me coming downstairs in the morning and, being a talkative sort, would miaow to be let out, fed, cuddled etc. But on the Monday morning, his cry was much more plaintive. Pained, even. He wasn't interested in food, nor in attention. He just slunk into a difficult-to-reach corner of the dining room. He smelled terrible. I took him to the vet.

The vet told me off for not making an appointment, but agreed to examine Metis anyway. He then told me off for not seeking medical help sooner. Apparently - and this is reasonably common among toms - it is possible for cats' urine not to be as acid as it might be. The result is that small crystals of urea can form in the bladder. These are normally passed without a problem, but can, on occasion, get lodged in the urethra. In Metis' case, this is what had happened. In effect, his penis was blocked by crystallised piss. As a result, his bladder was getting fuller and fuller. Little wonder he was walking funny.

The solution was a catheter and a week in kitty hospital. Additionally, I was told only to feed him special (expensive) food from then on, but that the problem might still recur. In that case, one option would be to remove the penis - apparently the ladyparts on a cat don't have the same narrow urethra, so the risk of blockage is much smaller.

So far - thankfully - the operation has been unnecessary. Metis is fine and pissing like a good'un. But the point is that he was once so desperate for a wee that the vet considered removing his penis.

And that is how my cat almost became a transsexual.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 12:46, Reply)