Desperate TimesStranded in a hotel in an African war zone with no internet access for two weeks, I was forced to resort to desperate measures. Possessing only my passport and the clothes I stood up in; and the warning "You can catch it shaking hands with a vicar out there" ringing in my ears, I had to draw my own porn in order to preserve my sanity.
Alas, it all came out looking like Coronation Street's Audrey Roberts, but, as they say, any port in a storm.
What have you done in times of great desperation?
(
Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 15 Nov 2007, 10:10)
« Go Back
NappiesA friend of mine told me this one....
She was on a long drive home with her baby son in the car. The expected happened and she ended up stuck in a long tail back, traffic moving very, very slowly.
Fortunately her baby had just been fed and was sleeping soundly.
Unfortunately she was desperate for a pee.
She tried thinking of other things.
She tried listening to the radio.
She tried singing along with songs.
She tried crossing her legs (no mean feat when you're trying to drive).
Eventually she gave in.
Grabbing the baby's changing bag she retrieved a clean nappy...opened it up....slipped it under her skirt, knickers aside and began to pee....
Babies nappies are designed for baby amounts of pee.
She attempted to stop the flow....
The baby was still very young and she hadn't been as diligent with her pelvic floor muscles as she should have been.
It cost £40 to get the car valeted.
(
chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 16:37,
2 replies)
remindsme of that mad astronaut who put on a nappy so she could drive for 18 hours straight or something.
there's a LOT of weirdos out there.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 17:03,
closed)
The landladyof the pub I used to work in did the same thing on the M5 / M6 interchange stuck in a traffic jam. She apparently lobbed the wet nappy out of the window narrowly avoiding hitting the wondsreen of the car behind her. Classy!
(, Fri 16 Nov 2007, 17:15, closed)
« Go Back